'I'd never send my parents away'

'I'd never send my parents away'

The definition of family living in large cities is changing, from the traditional extended family to a nuclear family. Grown-up children will settle down on their own, leaving their retired parents alone without younger people to help them around. The Jakarta Post asked residents whether they would prefer to admit their parents to riterment homes instead of taking care of them by themselves.

Lenny Tambun, 24, is a reporter with the Merdeka daily whose office is in Kebon Sirih, Central Jakarta. She lives with her family in Lenteng Agung, South Jakarta:

I would not like to see my parents being put in a home for the elderly. Never. I would prefer to take care of them in my own home so that I could monitor their health day by day. I couldn't trust the service provided by a nursing home.

I have visited several nursing homes in the city along with members of my church, and what I've seen is that most of the homes provide poor treatment for the elderly. Dirty and messy bedrooms, poor meals, and poor attention are the norm. Only a few nursing homes provide good services.

Vitri, 26, a marketing manager with a firm in Central Jakarta. An only child, she lives with her parents in Pasar Minggu, South Jakarta: a I actually could not imagine coping with my father all day long after his retirement. My father, he is now 55, would likely get a problem like post-power syndrome as he's a bossy employer at work.

But my mother, now 53, will be OK. She's a housewife, so she is accustomed to being at home all day.

Even in the future, if they were still physically strong and I was not around all the time, I would still not put my parents in a home for the elderly. I would hire a nurse to take care of them at home.

I now live in their home. If I was married I would move out. But I would visit them regularly.

--The Jakarta Post