Why Has Strict Parenting Gone Out of Favour? Psychologist Explains the Shift in Child-Rearing Norms

Differences in parenting approaches between past and present generations influence how parents and grandparents treat their children and grandchildren.

Yustinus Joko Dwi Nugroho, a clinical psychologist at DR Oen Solo Baru Hospital, stated that this change stems from shifting social norms and increasingly widespread access to information.

Speaking to Kompas.com on Tuesday (24 February 2026), Joko explained that parenting styles in the past tended to be harsher than they are today.

“If we recall, parenting styles in the past were typically authoritarian and involved physical punishment,” he said.

He added that this approach was also influenced by generational patterns within families.

“Because of social norms, economic conditions, and parenting patterns passed down through generations,” Joko stated.

During that era, harsh approaches were often considered a normal way to instil discipline and resilience.

“Now, because there is considerable information available about parenting, this approach emphasises emotional bonding more,” he explained.

An approach that emphasises emotional closeness makes parents and grandparents more aware of the importance of safety and warm relationships with children.

Whereas strict discipline was once considered paramount, emotional relationships and more open communication are now the focus.

This change has influenced how grandparents treat their grandchildren compared to how they raised their own children.

The phenomenon reflects that parenting styles are inseparable from the social and historical context in which they develop.