Three cultural traditions woven into one wedding

Text and photos by K. Basrie

JAKARTA (JP): Indonesia, home to more than 300 ethnic groups, has many ways to celebrate a wedding. Western-style wedding ceremonies are still unusual as most couples prefer to follow the customs of their respective ethnic backgrounds.

Last weekend, The Jakarta Post was invited to a wedding that blended the culture of the Sundanese, from West Java, with the south Sumatra customs of Lampung and Palembang. The three ethnic groups were honored to appease the families of the bride, Indira Ratna Dewi Abidin, and the groom, Ari Satria.

The bride's mother is Sundanese and her father comes from Palembang, while the groom's mother is from Lampung.

"We solemnize this ceremony to help perpetuate our country's rich culture," said the bride's mother, Miranty Abidin, who is president director of PT Fortune PR, a public relations consultancy.

The ceremonies were held on three different days and took place at two sites. Due to time limitations, a series of customs were dropped from the ceremonies.

A pre-wedding procession was held at the Abidins' traditionally-designed residence in Jagakarsa, South Jakarta, Dec. 14, one day before the akad nikah (wedding ceremony) was held at the same place last Sunday. Both were carried out featuring a mixture of Sundanese and Lampung traditions.

Afterwards, a grand Palembang-style wedding reception was held at the Serbaguna building in the Senayan sports complex in Central Jakarta.

The wedding extravaganza began with a seserahan ceremony, in which the groom is handed over from his parents to the bride's parents. Accompanied by his older relatives, the bridegroom, wearing a modern suit, arrived at the bride's house along with a variety of gifts.

The gifts, wrapped in Lampung style and carried by the groom's relatives, included ladies underwear, make-up sets, shoes, traditional clothes and cakes. The gifts were prepared by the groom's parents as a symbol of love for the bride.

The ceremony continued with a series of prayers and the giving of alms for God's blessing.

The next step was the ngeuyeuk seureuh (chewing of betel leaf), the most attractive episode of the wedding ceremony.

Sitting on seven pieces of traditional batik cloth -- representing the number of days in a week -- the couple was given a symbolic lecture by an elderly woman about life, marriage and having sex on the couple's first night together.

"The procession is conducted as if the bride and groom had never met," said Oom Rachmayanie Komara, the one who arranged the Sundanese side of the wedding.

The old woman employed a variety of teaching tools, including a coconut-midrib broom, a piece of cloth, a ball of black yarn, a pumpkin and areca nuts.

The ceremony turned into a comedy as the tutor explained the polite steps of making love for the first time. The crowd burst out laughing when the woman reminded the new couple not to make noise while playing the "mortar and pestle" game.

"Don't make too much noise. Otherwise, the neighbors will know what you are doing," she advised.

The tutor also asked the groom to hold gently and look carefully at the ball of black yarn.

"Let me know later if you find something similar to the black yarn on your first night," she said, again leaving the guests in stitches.

All the things used in the session were then thrown by the couple into a nearby street. They were not allowed to look back after throwing the items, a symbolic gesture to show that one should not hope for anything in return after giving something away.

Later, the groom went home with a pot filled with water and flower petals. At their respective homes, the bride and groom, who had yet to be officially married, took their siraman, a pre- wedding bath.

The bride then had to observe ngecagen aisan (the time for parents to allow their child to set up a new family) and ngaras (the washing of the parents' legs to ask for their blessing) before going to the specially-designed siraman hut.

The first day ended with a kerikan (shaving) procession.

The next day, the groom appeared in Sundanese dress.

At the front gate, he was asked to perform kokocok, or hand washing, to illustrate that he had cleaned both his body and spirit prior to marrying the host's daughter.

At the front door, the bride's mother presented a garland of jasmine flowers to show that she kindly accepted the man as her daughter's husband.

The next steps were sawer (parental advice), akad nikah (official wedding approval) and meuleum harupat (the burning of the old coconut-midrib broom). The latter was meant to remind the soon-to-be married couple to leave behind anger, gossip and anything else negative.

The newlyweds were then asked to nincak endog (break eggs) and buka pintu (open a door).

While the couple was changing into their royal Lampung wedding outfits, their mothers performed the ngaleupaskeun manuk japati (freeing of the doves) ritual to express their willingness to let their children set up their own life together.

The Lampung tradition covered mamoso (feeding the newlyweds) and inai amai, when royal titles are bestowed on the newlyweds.

During the procession, the bride and groom sat down next to each other in tindih silo style, in which the man's thigh is placed over the woman's thigh.

"It's a symbol that the man is always the leader of the family, regardless of the wife's job or profession," said Sri Nurul Fitri, who coordinated the Lampung customs.

Instead of taking a honeymoon, the newlyweds plan to perform umroh (minor Islamic pilgrimage) in Mecca early next year.

"We hope God will hear our prayers for a bright future and a lifetime of unity," said Indira.