Three cultural traditions woven into one wedding<\/p>\n
Text and photos by K. Basrie<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): Indonesia, home to more than 300 ethnic groups,
\nhas many ways to celebrate a wedding. Western-style wedding
\nceremonies are still unusual as most couples prefer to follow the
\ncustoms of their respective ethnic backgrounds.<\/p>\n
Last weekend, The Jakarta Post was invited to a wedding that
\nblended the culture of the Sundanese, from West Java, with the
\nsouth Sumatra customs of Lampung and Palembang. The three ethnic
\ngroups were honored to appease the families of the bride, Indira
\nRatna Dewi Abidin, and the groom, Ari Satria.<\/p>\n
The bride's mother is Sundanese and her father comes from
\nPalembang, while the groom's mother is from Lampung.<\/p>\n
"We solemnize this ceremony to help perpetuate our country's
\nrich culture," said the bride's mother, Miranty Abidin, who is
\npresident director of PT Fortune PR, a public relations
\nconsultancy.<\/p>\n
The ceremonies were held on three different days and took
\nplace at two sites. Due to time limitations, a series of customs
\nwere dropped from the ceremonies.<\/p>\n
A pre-wedding procession was held at the Abidins'
\ntraditionally-designed residence in Jagakarsa, South Jakarta,
\nDec. 14, one day before the akad nikah (wedding ceremony) was
\nheld at the same place last Sunday. Both were carried out
\nfeaturing a mixture of Sundanese and Lampung traditions.<\/p>\n
Afterwards, a grand Palembang-style wedding reception was held
\nat the Serbaguna building in the Senayan sports complex in
\nCentral Jakarta.<\/p>\n
The wedding extravaganza began with a seserahan ceremony, in
\nwhich the groom is handed over from his parents to the bride's
\nparents. Accompanied by his older relatives, the bridegroom,
\nwearing a modern suit, arrived at the bride's house along with a
\nvariety of gifts.<\/p>\n
The gifts, wrapped in Lampung style and carried by the groom's
\nrelatives, included ladies underwear, make-up sets, shoes,
\ntraditional clothes and cakes. The gifts were prepared by the
\ngroom's parents as a symbol of love for the bride.<\/p>\n
The ceremony continued with a series of prayers and the giving
\nof alms for God's blessing.<\/p>\n
The next step was the ngeuyeuk seureuh (chewing of betel
\nleaf), the most attractive episode of the wedding ceremony.<\/p>\n
Sitting on seven pieces of traditional batik cloth --
\nrepresenting the number of days in a week -- the couple was given
\na symbolic lecture by an elderly woman about life, marriage and
\nhaving sex on the couple's first night together.<\/p>\n
"The procession is conducted as if the bride and groom had
\nnever met," said Oom Rachmayanie Komara, the one who arranged the
\nSundanese side of the wedding.<\/p>\n
The old woman employed a variety of teaching tools, including
\na coconut-midrib broom, a piece of cloth, a ball of black yarn, a
\npumpkin and areca nuts.<\/p>\n
The ceremony turned into a comedy as the tutor explained the
\npolite steps of making love for the first time. The crowd burst
\nout laughing when the woman reminded the new couple not to make
\nnoise while playing the "mortar and pestle" game.<\/p>\n
"Don't make too much noise. Otherwise, the neighbors will know
\nwhat you are doing," she advised.<\/p>\n
The tutor also asked the groom to hold gently and look
\ncarefully at the ball of black yarn.<\/p>\n
"Let me know later if you find something similar to the black
\nyarn on your first night," she said, again leaving the guests in
\nstitches.<\/p>\n
All the things used in the session were then thrown by the
\ncouple into a nearby street. They were not allowed to look back
\nafter throwing the items, a symbolic gesture to show that one
\nshould not hope for anything in return after giving something
\naway.<\/p>\n
Later, the groom went home with a pot filled with water and
\nflower petals. At their respective homes, the bride and groom,
\nwho had yet to be officially married, took their siraman, a pre-
\nwedding bath.<\/p>\n
The bride then had to observe ngecagen aisan (the time for
\nparents to allow their child to set up a new family) and ngaras
\n(the washing of the parents' legs to ask for their blessing)
\nbefore going to the specially-designed siraman hut.<\/p>\n
The first day ended with a kerikan (shaving) procession.<\/p>\n
The next day, the groom appeared in Sundanese dress.<\/p>\n
At the front gate, he was asked to perform kokocok, or hand
\nwashing, to illustrate that he had cleaned both his body and
\nspirit prior to marrying the host's daughter.<\/p>\n
At the front door, the bride's mother presented a garland of
\njasmine flowers to show that she kindly accepted the man as her
\ndaughter's husband.<\/p>\n
The next steps were sawer (parental advice), akad nikah
\n(official wedding approval) and meuleum harupat (the burning of
\nthe old coconut-midrib broom). The latter was meant to remind the
\nsoon-to-be married couple to leave behind anger, gossip and
\nanything else negative.<\/p>\n
The newlyweds were then asked to nincak endog (break eggs) and
\nbuka pintu (open a door).<\/p>\n
While the couple was changing into their royal Lampung wedding
\noutfits, their mothers performed the ngaleupaskeun manuk japati
\n(freeing of the doves) ritual to express their willingness to let
\ntheir children set up their own life together.<\/p>\n
The Lampung tradition covered mamoso (feeding the newlyweds)
\nand inai amai, when royal titles are bestowed on the newlyweds.<\/p>\n
During the procession, the bride and groom sat down next to
\neach other in tindih silo style, in which the man's thigh is
\nplaced over the woman's thigh.<\/p>\n
"It's a symbol that the man is always the leader of the
\nfamily, regardless of the wife's job or profession," said Sri
\nNurul Fitri, who coordinated the Lampung customs.<\/p>\n
Instead of taking a honeymoon, the newlyweds plan to perform
\numroh (minor Islamic pilgrimage) in Mecca early next year.<\/p>\n
"We hope God will hear our prayers for a bright future and a
\nlifetime of unity," said Indira.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/three-cultural-traditions-woven-into-one-wedding-1447893297",
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