The Listening Post

The Listening Post

* Wishing Selamat Menunaikan Ibadah Puasa Ramadhan to all our
Muslim readers! And you will notice that while this is indeed an
English-teaching column, I have used Bahasa Indonesia for my
sincere greeting, on behalf of all the staff and students of
American Language Center. English doesn't work here, alas;
whenever I have tried to greet Moslems with "Have a Happy Fasting
Month!" at the beginning of Ramadhan, it has always sounded funny
to me. The fact is, English just doesn't have any way to express
this greeting. Thus we use the Indonesian expression, as a matter
of courtesy and accuracy.
* "Do you fast, Byron?" my students often ask me. I answer,
very seriously, "Yes, I fast when I sleep." And before they can
object, I add hurriedly, "...and when I wake up, I break fast!"
for this is where the term" breakfast" originally came from: the
breaking of the night's fast. For of course you cannot eat while
you sleep (except in a technicolor dream of ice cream and sushi),
which is actually a bit of a shame. I think of Mark Twain's quip:
"I make it a rule never to smoke cigars while asleep, nor to
abstain while awake."
* The linguistic terrorism of euphemisms is a subject I have
attacked in this column before, as it frequently poses a major
impediment to accurate communication for Indonesians. This is
especially trying when a timid speaker doesn't feel brave enough
to face up and say, "Excuse me, but I don't understand what you
are trying to tell me. Could you explain this more directly?" The
six traditional (and sensitive!) categories where euphemisms
flourish are the following: politics, religion, money, sex,
death, and bodily functions.
* When someone says, "You should make arrangements for this
immediately," it is going to cost you money (and you better pay
up quick). "Make arrangements," like "cover this," "take care of
this," "see to this," and "clear up this balance" all have to do
with payment. Similarly, when you hear "When Mawar left us...,"
or "About the time Maman went to his reward...," or "Before
Mahmud passed on...," you should realize that the citizen being
discussed has ceased to exist, passed on, bit the dust, kicked
the bucket or, in short, is dead (I have used the names of
various deceased monkeys in the above example, to protect the
innocent). Now, I have come across a new category of euphemisms,
thanks to the trusty International Herald Tribune of Jan. 22,
1996, and the intrepid author, Bob Herbert. And like sex-death-
politics-money-religion-and-bodily-functions this new category
treats a most sensitive and explosive issue: the termination of
services.
* While growling, "You're fired!!" was traditionally treasured
as a source of amusement and satisfaction for bosses, in
contemporary sensitive society this painful matter must be
couched in much nicer, and more indirect, language. I quote the
sterling prose of Bob Herbert (who, I am pleased to report, has
apparently not lost his job): "The euphemism of choice for the
corporate chopping block is downsizing, but variations abound.
John Thomas, a 59-year-old AT&T employee, was told last Tuesday
that his job was "not going forward." One thinks of a car with
transmission trouble, not the demise of a lengthy career.
* "Other workers are discontinued, involuntarily severed,
surplussed. There are special leaves, separations, rebalances,
bumpings and, one of my favorites, cascade bumpings" [italics
added by yours truly, the Listening Postman]. Not understanding
when someone asks where the amenities are is embarrassing enough,
when, say, their Terrible Two-Year-Old is about to pee in his
pants (or an honored guest suffers a sudden attack of Bali-
Belly). But this failure to understand the euphemism for the
toilet, restroom, powder room, WC, men's/women's room (or just
plain crapper) is nothing compared to not understanding when you
kindly superior calls you in to tell you you're being canned.
* So what's the big idea? It is supposed to make the doomed
employee, his work mates and other associates, family and friends
feel less like they're witnessing a fatal crash, apparently. And
the company too, as it goes merrily massacring redundant
employees by the hundreds. What is most intriguing from a
linguistic point of view is how a new class of euphemisms has
sprung up to accommodate a new reality: being shoved out of your
warm, pleasant, paper-shuffling routine into the cold, real
world.

-- Byron Black