Study: Parental interference triggers the fraying of children's friendships
A new study reveals that parental disapproval of a child’s friend can raise the likelihood that the friendship will end, even though such strategies are also seen to have long-term effects on the child’s emotional and social wellbeing.
The research, reported by Neuroscience News, was conducted by investigators from Florida Atlantic University and Mykolas Romeris University in Lithuania. The study followed 394 public school pupils in Lithuania aged 9 to 14 over three consecutive semesters to examine the influence of mothers’ opinions on the child’s friendship relationships.
The researchers found that about one-third of close friendships did not endure into the next academic year, even though the children remained in the same class. In many cases, the children reported that their mothers did not like the close friend.
Senior author Dr. Brett Laursen said that parental interference in children’s social relationships proved sufficiently effective at ending friendships. “Most friendships do not endure after receiving rejection from the mother,” he said.
In the study, participants were asked to explain whether their mothers forbade or expressed disapproval of a particular friend. The children were also asked to assess the quality of their friendships, including levels of support and emotional warmth.
The findings show that parental rejection does not always immediately end the friendship, but can gradually lower the quality of the relationship. The researchers found that maternal disapproval is associated with a decrease in the sense of support within the friendship, eventually leading to the friendship fraying and ending.
According to lead researcher Dr. Goda Kaniušonytė, some children choose to distance themselves from their friend to maintain a good relationship with their parents or because the relationship becomes difficult to sustain due to household restrictions.
The study also found that the impact of parental disapproval varied depending on the child’s age. Nevertheless, the general pattern remained the same: it begins with parental rejection, followed by a decline in relationship quality, and then the end of the friendship.
The researchers cautioned that strategies of banning friendships are not an ideal long-term solution. Laursen noted that ending a child’s friendship is not a victory for parents, because a child who loses a friend can struggle to find a healthy new social environment.
A child with few friends is deemed more vulnerable to social pressure, rebel behaviour, emotional problems, and bullying. The researchers also warn that excessive parental interference in a child’s social relationships can damage the parent-child relationship.
As an alternative, they recommend parents cultivate a warm and supportive home environment so that children are better able to cope with the negative influences of their peer environment.