Psychologist: Parents' communication skills need to be trained in the digital era
Theresia Novi Poespita Candra, S.Psi., M.Si, Ph.D., a psychologist and lecturer at the Faculty of Psychology, Universitas Gadjah Mada, says that parents’ communication abilities must be continually trained to build healthy relationships with their children amid the challenges of the digital era.
Novi says many parents, without realising it, have communication problems because they are not accustomed to listening or engaging in deep dialogue with others.
‘If we are invited to chat for a long time or to listen to someone for a long time, are we comfortable? That is actually a measure,’ Novi told ANTARA on Wednesday.
She notes that contemporary social communication habits tend to be short, quick, and oriented toward practical needs, making the ability to listen gradually weaken.
In fact, children need parents who can show up and listen to their stories with full attention.
Novi believes many parents are too quick to give advice or instructions rather than opening space for dialogue with their children.
In her view, such communication patterns can make children reluctant to open up because they feel they are not truly understood.
‘Don’t be quick to offer advice, because that makes the space unsafe at home,’ she said.
She explained that listening and communication skills can actually be continually trained, including by adults.
According to her, simple practice can begin by getting used to listening to other people’s stories without interrupting or feeling the need to immediately provide a solution.
Novi says listening skills are important because, essentially, humans need space to speak and feel accepted.
She also emphasises that changes in family communication patterns must start with parents because children tend to imitate the habits they see daily.
‘The change starts from the parents,’ she said.
She added that warm communication within the family does not form instantly, but requires awareness and consistent practice.