JP/20/RETIKA

JP/20/RETIKA

'I don't want to be overwhelmed by grief'

Dedy Ardiansyah
Contributor/Banda Aceh

It is really painful to lose loved ones. Only a few people can
overcome the grief that comes with this loss. Retika, 20,
however, always looks cheerful even though she has lost her
parents and one of her siblings. Usually called Rere, she smiles
at everyone she meets.

Rere is the third of five children. Three of her siblings were
spared, because when the tsunami struck, they were not in
Meulaboh. Her elder brother was in Banda Aceh while her elder
sister and a younger sibling were in Medan.

After the disaster, Rere stayed in Medan for a week but then
decided to return to her hometown and start her life over again
without her parents.

When the tsunami struck her neighborhood, she was saved by
First Lt. Ferry, who carried her to a jambu air (rose-apple)
tree. Unfortunately, Ferry was unable to save himself. He died
while still clinging to the tree. When the water subsided, Rere
climbed down the tree and fled for safety.

While running, Rere briefly met her father, who told her to
keep on running. He gave her a piece of wood to hold on to.

Before she had run very far, however, seawater came rushing
inland again and dragged her to the front of a mosque. She tried
to climb onto the roof of the mosque but could no longer see her
father. "I saw my father being dragged out to sea. That was our
last meeting," she said, still trying to smile.

When you look at Rere, you could hardly guess that she had
lost her parents and one of her siblings in the devastating
natural disaster on Dec. 26, 2004. Nurleli, a fellow broadcaster
at Radio Suara Aceh FM, was also surprised when she learned of
what had befallen Rere.

"I admire her struggle to fight her grief. At first I did not
think she was one of the tsunami victims because she was always
cheerful and laughing," she said.

Her other fellow broadcasters at the radio station have
realized that Rere is keeping her grief to herself. Hana
Pangaribuan said she could detect grief in Rere's eyes. "She
tries to look cheerful and joke with others but I can see the
sadness in her eyes," she said.

Rere said using her experience as a broadcaster at Radio Suara
Aceh FM, an emergency radio station set up by Prapanca FM Trijaya
Network in Meulaboh, West Aceh has helped her to forget her own
pain. In fact, before the tsunami she spent two years working as
a radio broadcaster. Now, she can be heard between 1 p.m. and 4
p.m. local time every day on her own program, which targets young
people.

During her program, songs popular among youngsters will be
played. Rere also frequently gives advice to her young listeners,
asking them not to be overcome by their grief.

"For the last two weeks, we have given her a program intended
for youngsters. Hopefully, this will cheer her up," said Awin
Bastamta, who is responsible for Radio Suara Aceh FM.

After finishing her program that day, Rere took The Jakarta
Post to take a look at the ruins of her house in Ujung Karang,
Johan Pahlawan district, Meulaboh. Rere talked a lot about how
she tried to put that dark day behind her when the tsunami struck
the house from three different directions: the side, the front
and the back.

In this neighborhood, all buildings were completely destroyed.
Her house, an orange two-story house, was also flattened.

"It is not that I'm not sad. I realize that I still have a
future ahead of me so I don't want to succumb to grief," she said
when asked about how she felt about her loss.

A fan of singer Krisdayanti, Rere said that in the first week
after the disaster, she was deeply saddened. She found it
difficult to forget what had happened to her.

Every day she burst into tears when she remembered that she
had lost both parents, one of her younger siblings, her
grandmother and a nephew in the tsunami. She had searched for her
parents in many places from Blang Pidie to Tapaktuan.

In the second week, however, Rere realized that there was no
use grieving. Every night she performed her tahajjut prayers,
asking God to give her strength. She now gains new spirit when
she remembers her parents.

"When I fled to safety, I felt as if my parents were smiling
and truly willing to let me go," she said.

She observed Idul Adha (the Muslim Day of Sacrifice) alone
this year. Rere also paid her respects at the mass grave in Ujung
Karang, not far from her house, hoping that her parents were
buried there in peace.

Now Rere is staying with Ayu, one of her friends. She said she
was happy staying there in the warm family atmosphere. During the
day, she works at the radio station, greeting her listeners
cheerfully.

"Assalamualaikum (Peace be with you). Listeners, you are still
with me. This is Rere here at Suara Aceh, a post-tsunami
emergency radio station in Meulaboh. How are you this afternoon?
Hopefully, better than yesterday.

"I hope we will not be overwhelmed by grief. Let's welcome a
better tomorrow together. Well, this is a song by Gigi called
Last Love," Rere said, greeting her listeners.