JP/19/DUNCAN

JP/19/DUNCAN

FEENGERS BEWARE: THE MUSH OF MADURA WAG TONGUE TO MARVEL

Feengers beware: The mush of Madura wag tongue to marvel

Duncan Graham
Contributor/Surabaya

Indonesia ranks high on the International List of English
Manglers, even when its recognized that many forms of the world
tongue are now considered legitimate variations.

Singlish, the singsong language of Singapore belongs to that
rich island; linguists say it should no longer be measured
against the round-vowel speech of Britain's Home Counties any
more than the drawl of the Southern States should be matched
against the nasal twang of New South Wales.

India (Hinglish), Malaysia (Manglish), South Africa, Pakistan,
the West Indies, Canada, Australia, New Zealand -- each former
colony, dominion or whatever has broken away from the mother
tongue as much as it has from the motherland.

It's not just the accent -- each country has developed its own
vocabulary and syntax.

Indonesia, which was only briefly ruled by Westminster, has
found it difficult to easily embrace the international language.

Dutch is no passport to anywhere but Clogland, and first
president Sukarno wisely banned it from schools. Unfortunately he
also briefly campaigned against English, even though he was a
polyglot.

So there's some excuse for signs like KEEP YOUR POLITE
(outside a Buddhist heritage site near Malang) and DON'T BE
SLOPE TO CRATER (at a volcano).

Anyway we get the message.

And we probably understand Juanda airport's warning that "MANY
BAGGAGE REAL LIKE" though maybe this is not the best way for an
international gateway to present a professional image equal to
Kuala Lumpur or Singapore.

President Susilo and many of his ministers speak excellent
English so surely government tourist guides could do better than
"The crater of Mt Bromo is largely open with belch of smoke
especially from its bottom." The right words are particularly
important when it comes to history: "The incident made the
Nederland angry until one of them Mr Pluegman died."

Sensitive men (aren't we all?) should beware the Surabaya City
Council's promotion of "the cut of the married couple." This is
"a ceremony to cut boy's sex to make him grows old and to gives a
sign that he has been grown up. The boy who has been feenger has
his sex cut, then he was brought around the kampoeng by
palanguin."

Best not be a feenger, or if you are stay clear of the
nation's second biggest city.

The Hindu temple complex at Prambanan near Yogya is a world-
class heritage site. It was "apprehensive condition when found"
according to the official brochure which is pockmarked with
errors. As entry to the site carries a $US10 fee for anyone with
a white skin (Rp 7,000 if you look Asian) it seems reasonable to
expect that they might get the English right.

The introduction of computer translation software has
eliminated the need for copywriters to employ high-cost native
speakers to check their language -- and it shows:

"Sale location Atom Market is strategic enough, residing the
north side entrance. There is about more than 20 merchant which
in every day vend the typical home snack of the market. Saturday
and Sunday are much waited day, because that day are the most
crowded day so the way to get big profit, may simply be
collapsible.

"Mostly they have tens of year elaborate typical home snacks.
Like the confession of mBok Hajjah Mariyah which come from Madura
sell the Mush of Madura and Kelanthing. With her congealed
maduranis dialect, he says that, mush of Madura and kelanthing
are processed and made by herself.

"The main ingredients are starch rice powder and sugar. By
her arms skilled to blend that ingredients turn into typical food
and very tease of our appetite." (Hello Surabaya magazine)

The same journal tried its hand at promoting the Ampel Mosque:
"Mosque which its tower boosting high. Is still stand sturdy? It
amazed many people and wag tongue to marvel when staring at the
tower and its stanchion. That it present a strong mystery to the
world, that its buttonhole, can not be it means faded by the
epoch."

Even top-drawer ad agencies with major clients stuff up the
language: "Start all over again today with new classy breed new
breed what we wish for .." If you can decode that then you'll
need a smoke and a good lie down.
Or maybe I've got it wrong. Perhaps the idea is to run a few
words of English in an ad just to give the product prestige.
Because so few people understand English mistakes will go
unnoticed. What the words say is of no consequence, like the
health warnings on cigarette packs that clearly deter no one.

I wouldn't want readers to think this litany of complaints
represents any sort of linguistic superiority. My Indonesian
grammar is a dog's breakfast.

Among my many contributions to the mirthful lives of
Indonesians is to confuse murah (cheap) with muda (young), ramah
(friendly) with ramai (crowded) and rambut (hair) with rumput
(grass). Any salon under my management would probably advertise
"crowded young grasscuts".

I have a substantial catalog of gross mispronunciations but
most involve confusion with words about behavior in bedroom and
toilet. As this is a newspaper your children may pick up I won't
provide a list. It's bad enough that adults corrupt both
languages; let the kids find their own dirty words.