'God must have prolonged my life for this task'

Survivors of the December tsunami who barely had time to grieve included the local leaders in Aceh and North Sumatra. T. Bustamam, provincial head of an organization of coastal and fishing community "commanders," the panglima laot, is among surviving Acehnese leaders who said they slowly managed to get back on their feet by helping others and listening to "much worse" stories.

On that early Sunday morning the 67-year-old was exercising with many others in Banda Aceh, when the earthquake, now said to be 9.15 on the Richter scale, occurred.

"We were sure this was doomsday," Bustamam said, "And we waited for the ground to crack open and swallow us all." But it didn't, and he drove home about 30 minutes away. But just as he got out of the car he said the giant black waves hit his house where his wife was, and he has not seen her since. All their children live elsewhere, some in Jakarta, and were safe.

"You cannot imagine," he said, "how all those people died ... they ran but were trapped because the waves came in all directions ..." For the next few months he said he spent most of the time in tears. "When someone called I would pick up the phone but I could only cry ... I would become depressed very easily."

Apart from the loss of his wife, he said he had been worried sick of whether, at his age, he could start over, with "all my preparations for old age" gone in a matter of minutes.

But as a leader chosen for his seniority as a fisherman, he said he had to go to meetings discussing emergency measures for survivors. "At home your role is only as grandfather; at work you get to debate and laugh."

"And I would also ask refugees, how many children do you have, and how many were lost? And many would say I have five, and all are gone." He came to realize how lucky he was to live even after he was submerged "for 30 minutes". He is still under medical observation for his lungs, in case he swallowed harmful substances.

"When I was in the water there seemed to be a voice whispering, 'this is not your place', maybe it meant I wasn't meant to die yet." He added, "God must have prolonged my age for this task" of catering to the needs around him, such as helping to channel donors' funds for new boats.

Besides, he said, "Our village mosque is not ready and (before the tsunami) I was in charge of the construction; maybe I have to finish that, too." -- JP/Ati Nurbaiti