Building Quality Parent-Child Relationships: Just 15 Minutes Without Interrogation

Amid increasingly demanding work schedules, maintaining emotional closeness with children has become a growing challenge for urban parents. Addressing this issue, child and family psychologist Sani B Hermawan from the University of Indonesia emphasises that the key to a harmonious relationship is not the duration of time spent together, but rather the quality of interaction developed.

Sani explains that for working parents, finding an hour each day to spend with their children may feel overwhelming. However, emotional attachment benefits can still be achieved even in brief periods.

“Sometimes parents now work, and it is very difficult to find an hour together every day. But with just 15 minutes of quality time together, sharing stories, laughing, hugging—that creates better closeness and emotional attachment benefits,” said Sani.

Sani noted that parents should build this habit from when children are young so it continues through adolescence and into adulthood. However, he emphasised that good communication does not develop instantly.

In developing dialogue, parents are advised to create a safe space for children to express themselves. Sani emphasises the importance of asking questions without an interrogating tone, passing judgement, or labelling children negatively.

For parents beginning to build closeness when their children are older, Sani offered an optimistic message. “It will indeed be difficult when the habit was not built from childhood and must be slowly started to build closeness. It is never too late, but what matters most is the good intention to improve communication and relationships,” he said.

Interestingly, Sani believes that device use at home is not always harmful, as long as it is used as a medium for interaction. Activities such as playing games or watching films together can become opportunities to discuss storylines or game strategies.

If parents wish to avoid screens, they can switch to physical activities or board games such as snakes and ladders, chess, or hide and seek. The main focus remains on the communication that develops during these activities.

“What is clear is that there is communication discussing it, so it is not just about playing, but more about emotional closeness and building that two-way relationship through devices as the material or tool, as the medium,” Sani added.

This approach aligns with the #QualityOneHour campaign promoted by the Ministry of Basic and Secondary Education, which encourages Indonesian families to reclaim quality time amid the pervasive use of social media among young people.