Behind the Thousands of Fathers Neglecting to Provide for Their Children in Surabaya, A Psychologist's Explanation

The phenomenon of fathers not fulfilling child support obligations following divorce has come under scrutiny in Surabaya. According to data from the Surabaya City Government, there were initially 11,202 fathers who had not met their child support duties. As cited from ANTARA, this number has now reduced to 8,161 fathers who still fail to comply, resulting in their ID numbers remaining deactivated. These figures reflect not only legal or economic issues but also deeper psychological and family relationship problems. Psychologist Meity Arianty, STP., M.Psi., explains that this phenomenon is rooted in various interconnected psychological factors. One of them is the emotional impact of the divorce itself. “Divorce often triggers emotional wounds, anger, or feelings of failure in men. In some cases, this leads them to withdraw from responsibilities as a maladaptive form of coping,” she stated when contacted by Kompas.com on Thursday (16/4/2026). According to Meity, ongoing conflicts with former partners can also cause a father to unconsciously “sever attachment”, not only with the ex-wife but also with the child. This condition is exacerbated if the individual lacks optimal emotional maturity or did not have a responsible father figure in their upbringing. Many men are raised with the understanding that their primary role is as the breadwinner in an intact family context. When divorce occurs and the child is cared for by the mother, some fathers experience identity confusion. In such situations, defence mechanisms emerge, such as rationalisation, for example, believing that the child already has a caregiver and thus their responsibility is fulfilled. However, from a developmental psychology perspective, child support is not merely assistance to the ex-partner but part of fulfilling the child’s basic rights. “It is important to instil that child support is the child’s right, not dependent on the relationship with the ex-partner,” Meity said.