A Back on the landscape

A Back on the landscape

In the spirit of regional autonomy and the recent local
elections, I'd like to nominate Blok M as a candidate for adding
to Indonesia's ever growing list of provinces. I've always
maintained that the ever popular 'M' is a self-contained, one-
stop zone in which I could live out the rest of my days quite
happily. I'd lurch from plaza to restaurant to cinema to bar to
hotel without ever leaving the area. Blok M's regent could set up
his office on Jl. Melawai and everything would be fine.

However, one potential fly in the ointment in this twisted
little fantasy is the bar-filled road of Jl. Felatehan, just
behind the bus station. In our imaginary new province scenario,
Felatehan regulars wouldn't be happy with mere regional autonomy
and would push for a plebiscite and full independence. The
street's voracious micro economy, driven as it is by beer-
swilling, male, western expats and bakso chomping, local disco
butterflies could even spawn some kind of deranged independence,
guerrilla movement. Molotov cocktails manufactured from old Anker
bottles refilled with cheap perfume would rain down on riot
police from behind a burning barricade of overturned Blue Bird
taxis as Felatehan's night-time boys and girls resist the
Imperial Indonesian forces and their demands for early Ramadan
closing hours.

This is all a rather unlikely state of affairs, granted,
although Jl. Felatehan certainly looks the part of a violence
racked province, resembling as it does, Beirut circa 1982.
However, let's return to reality for a moment and take a look at
what lies behind the piles of rubble and the scarred and
crumbling buildings of Jl. Felatehan.

The road is certainly as popular as it has ever been and there
are still plenty of bibulous bules and beskirted broads to be
seen during the hours of darkness, weaving drunkenly between D's
Place, Sportsman's, Oscar's, My Bar, Everest and Top Gun.

In fact, despite looking like a tsunami has just hit it when
viewed from street level, business is pretty good on Blok M's
famous road of revelry, so much so that the aforementioned six
bars have all recently joined forces to create FAB - the
Felatehan Association of Businesses (no sniggering at the back
please).

FAB aims to bring a bit of solidarity and central planning to
Felatehan and so far the businesses involved have managed to set
up an inter-bar pool league and have also clubbed together for
some security men under a mini marquee who look under your car
with one of those mirror thingies on wheels.

Yes, despite the infidel security issue, the street's bars
have been looking quite lively of late.

Starting at the far end, D's Place is always full of friendly
faces playing Find-the-Joker, competing in the Monday night music
quiz or the dance competitions or getting up to God knows what in
the VIP members' room (I'm not allowed in myself). Next along,
Sportsman's still offers the western sports bar experience
complete with live broadcasts of all the top events. Next to
that, Everest, a newer addition to the street, features live
music and a vertiginous, drive-in movie sized screen that takes
up the whole rear wall of the club for watching the sport on.
Moving right along, My Bar has become the literal and spiritual
center of the Jl. Felatehan of 2005. It's pretty much full every
evening with the moistened T-shirt and whisky cola brigade and is
open until 5 a.m. In addition, My Bar's two new tasteful floors
(live music lounge and billiard hall) and slightly less tasteful
line in merchandise (baseball hats and g-strings) have helped to
cement its reputation. Opposite My Bar, Top Gun is getting a bit
long in the tooth these days -- its name alone should tell you
that -- but it can still pull them in in the early evenings.
Finally, Oscar's, at the bus terminal end of the street, is
currently in the process of reviving itself with a brand-new
gourmet menu, talk of a members' club called Bisu and lingerie
theme nights.

So in this crazy city, Jl. Felatehan has managed to weather
the storms of financial crisis and terrorist bombings and has
come out the other side with its core clientele intact. Clearly,
many of Jakarta's impish expats have a deep-seated need for this
street and the bonhomie and "companionship" (ahem) that it
offers. FAB as the new GAM though? Vive la Revolution!

--Simon Pitchforth