Working Parents' Dilemma: Daycare as a Saviour, Yet Guilt Persists

In large cities like Jakarta, the pace of life moves quickly, and economic demands leave little room for respite. Many parents must work full-time to maintain family stability. However, behind that decision lurks a persistent dilemma: who looks after the children when both parents are away from home? For some families, daycare has become the most realistic answer. Childcare centres are no longer just an additional option but a lifesaver that allows parents to keep working. Nevertheless, the decision to entrust children to daycare is often accompanied by feelings of guilt, worry, and fear of being seen as absent from their child’s growth and development. Their three-year-old child is now placed in daycare because there are no close family members available to help. For Melani, the decision to put her child in daycare was a major one that she initially resisted. In her mind, young children should be close to their mother, not with caregivers outside the home. “At first, I refused. In my head, the child should be with the mother. I used to think that if the child is in daycare, it means the mother isn’t taking care of them,” said Melani when contacted by Kompas.com on Saturday (18/4/2026). However, the reality of life for young urban families makes it hard to uphold such ideals. Melani admits she continues working due to economic needs. “If I resign, we could still live off my husband’s salary, but it would be really tough. No savings, no emergency fund. If the child gets sick, we’d be in a panic,” she said. In the end, daycare became an unavoidable choice. Not because she wanted to, but because she had to. “I realised that daycare isn’t about wanting or not wanting. It’s about surviving,” said Melani. That decision was not without fears. Melani admits she was haunted by worries that her child might experience violence or poor care. “I was really scared. I overthought it. Scared the child would be pinched, scolded, or not fed,” said Melani. She still goes to work, but her mind is left at the daycare. “My body is at the office, but my mind is at the daycare,” said Melani. To feel more confident, Melani and Yozar surveyed several places before making their choice. They checked the cleanliness of the rooms, the safety of the toys, the comfort of the sleeping areas, and inquired about the ratio of caregivers to children. Melani also asked about the availability of CCTV and procedures for handling sick children. She even ensured that the caregivers had first aid training. “I also observed how the caregivers spoke to the children. If the caregiver spoke harshly, I immediately backed out,” said Melani. However, even though her child seems fine, the guilt does not simply disappear. “The guilt because I feel my child’s time is spent more with others than with me,” said Melani.