Why Grandparents Who Were Once Strict with Their Children Are Now More Affectionate Towards Their Grandchildren?

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KOMPAS.com - The change in parental attitudes, from being strict when raising their children to being more gentle with their grandchildren, is a fairly common phenomenon.

Clinical psychologist at DR Oen Solo Baru Hospital, Yustinus Joko Dwi Nugroho, M.Psi., said that this phenomenon can be explained through developmental psychology.

When contacted by Kompas.com on Tuesday (24/2/2026), Joko explained that in Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory, individuals entering old age are at a certain stage in their life’s development.

He added that this stage can continue into the integrity versus despair stage.

“In this stage, individuals tend to want to pass on values of love and security, so it’s no longer just about enforcing discipline,” he said.

“As people age, emotional control or regulation tends to be more stable,” Joko explained.

He said that many grandparents have gone through the phase of economic struggle and pressure in raising their children.

“They are no longer in a position where they have to be strict in order to survive,” he said.

This condition makes their approach to grandchildren more relaxed and warm.

“Many parents realize that they were too strict in the past,” said Joko.

According to him, the presence of grandchildren can be a second chance to express affection more openly.