Why Do We Always Write 'Excuse Me, May I Ask?'

Take a look at conversations in class groups, offices or communities. When someone wants to ask a question, they rarely state their intention directly. Instead, conversations often begin with phrases such as ‘izin bertanya’ (permission to ask) or ‘maaf mengganggu’ (sorry for the interruption).

These expressions have become something of an unwritten rule in the digital communication of Indonesian society.

When you think about it, this phenomenon is quite interesting. In a discussion forum, asking a question is perfectly normal. There is no rule requiring someone to seek permission before asking. Yet the habit persists, even among the younger generation who grew up with digital technology.

From a sociolinguistic perspective, this shows that language functions not only to convey information, but also to maintain social relationships. Before stating their intention, the speaker tries to show respect to their interlocutor. Word choice becomes a way to build an impression of politeness and appreciation for others.

Holmes (2013) explains that politeness in language is a strategy for maintaining social relationships and avoiding potential discomfort in communication. As such, expressions like ‘izin bertanya’ or ‘maaf sebelumnya’ (apologies in advance) are not merely conversation openers, but markers of the norms of courtesy that live within society.

Interestingly, this habit is not always found in the communication cultures of other countries. In many English-language forums, participants generally ask questions directly without any preceding request for permission. This difference shows that the way we use language is strongly influenced by the cultural values that have developed in each society.

In Indonesia, respecting the interlocutor is often considered just as important as the content of the message itself. As a result, conversation openers become a part of communication that is almost never abandoned.

However, the development of digital communication is beginning to bring about change. Some users, particularly the younger generation, have become more concise. They simply write their question without a lengthy preamble, especially when speaking with peers. Even so, when communicating with lecturers, superiors or older people, the expression ‘izin bertanya’ is still retained.

This means that what is changing is not the underlying value of politeness, but rather the way language is adapted to the interlocutor and the communicative situation.

This phenomenon reminds us that language is always moving with the times, but it does not simply abandon the culture that has long lived within society. Amid increasingly rapid communication, Indonesian society still leaves room to show respect through word choice.

Perhaps that is why, even in the era of instant messaging, we still often begin our conversations with two simple words: izin bertanya.

References

Holmes, J. (2013). An introduction to sociolinguistics (4th ed.). Routledge.

Wardhaugh, R., & Fuller, J. M. (2021). An introduction to sociolinguistics (8th ed.). Wiley.