Why Do We Always Write 'Excuse Me, May I Ask?'

Observe conversations in class, office, or community groups. When someone wants to ask a question, they rarely state their intention directly. Instead, the conversation often begins with phrases like, ‘Izin bertanya,’ or ‘Maaf mengganggu’ (Sorry to disturb). These expressions have seemingly become an unwritten rule in Indonesian digital communication. Upon reflection, this phenomenon is quite interesting. In a discussion forum, asking questions is normal. There is no rule requiring someone to ask permission before posing a question. Yet, this habit persists, even among the younger generation who grew up with digital technology. From a sociolinguistic perspective, this shows that language functions not only to convey information but also to maintain social relationships. Before stating their intention, speakers attempt to show respect to the interlocutor. Word choice becomes a way to build an impression of politeness and regard for others. Holmes (2013) explains that linguistic politeness is a strategy for maintaining social relationships and avoiding potential discomfort in communication. Therefore, expressions like ‘excuse me, may I ask’ or ‘sorry in advance’ are not merely conversation openers, but markers of politeness norms that exist within society. Interestingly, this habit is not always found in the communication cultures of other countries. In many English-language forums, discussion participants generally ask questions directly without a preceding request for permission. This difference shows that ways of speaking are heavily influenced by the cultural values that develop in each society. In Indonesia, respecting the interlocutor is often considered as important as the content of the message itself. Consequently, conversational openers have become an almost indispensable part of communication. However, the development of digital communication is beginning to bring about changes. Some users, particularly the younger generation, are becoming more concise. They simply write their questions without lengthy openers, especially when speaking with peers. Even so, when communicating with lecturers, superiors, or elders, the expression ‘izin bertanya’ is still maintained. This means that what is changing is not the value of politeness itself, but the way language is adapted to the interlocutor and the communication situation. This phenomenon reminds us that language constantly evolves with the times, but does not necessarily abandon the culture that has long existed in society. Amidst increasingly rapid communication, Indonesians still leave room to show respect through their choice of words. Perhaps that is why, even in the era of instant messaging, we still often begin conversations with two simple words: ‘Izin bertanya’.