Why Being Single Is Better Than With the Wrong Person?

Since childhood, most of us have been fed the same message: life is better when we find a partner. From films and songs to family conversations, the idea that relationships are the only path to happiness is pervasive. As a result, single people are often looked down upon, as if they’re stuck in life’s waiting room.

But is this assumption entirely true? A recent long-term study provides a more nuanced and measured answer.

Two researchers, Menelaos Apostolou and Elyakim Kislev, tracked the lives of around 12,000 German adults over 13 years, observing their emotional dynamics while single, dating, or married. The results debunk the simplistic notion that ‘being in a relationship means being happier’. The study confirms that relationship status does have an impact, but the quality of the relationship is far more crucial.

Generally, people do feel better when in a relationship or married, reporting more positive emotions, fewer negative ones, and higher life satisfaction.

However, this happiness boost is not substantial. On a life satisfaction scale of 1 to 10, having a partner contributes only a 0.42-point increase, while marriage adds 0.86 points. These figures underscore that true happiness is multifactorial, influenced by health, finances, work, friendships, and personal goals.

The only significant exception is loneliness. Being in a relationship or married drastically reduces feelings of loneliness, even in unharmonious relationships. Loneliness acts like a biological alarm that subsides with another person’s presence. However, merely not feeling lonely is very different from feeling happy, peaceful, or satisfied with life.

The study’s strongest message is clear: healthy relationships bring benefits, but poor ones harm mental health. Researchers categorised participants’ relationship satisfaction into poor, average, and good, which completely shifts our perspective on romantic status.

‘What makes this study unique is that we followed participants over several years to see how their happiness changed as their relationship status shifted,’ said Professor Elyakim Kislev from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem.

‘It clearly shows it’s not just about having a partner. Relationship quality is the determining factor for our emotional health,’ he added.

Published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, the study found that those stuck in poor or average-quality relationships have worse emotional health than those who remain single. They are more prone to sadness, mood decline, depression, and emotional stress.

‘If a relationship is poor or merely average, a person’s life satisfaction and positive emotions are significantly lower than if they stayed single,’ Professor Kislev stressed.

This fact automatically refutes the old adage that ‘having a partner is better than being lonely’. Being single might bring loneliness for some, but it also serves as a natural shield against the stress of toxic relationships. Ultimately, the best question isn’t ‘Do you have a partner?’, but ‘Is this relationship good for you?’