Traumatized East Timorese tell of grieving tales

By Singgir Kartana

YOGYAKARTA (JP): Some people might wonder why almost 80 percent of East Timorese voted for independence. Why did they do it even though for more than 23 years they have received large amounts of funding from the Indonesian government to develop the region?

Their choice might surprise those who have never been to East Timor or those who do not really know about their condition. But for the majority of the East Timorese, they are determined to become independent. A former Portuguese colony, East Timor "integrated" with Indonesia in 1976. It is true that the Indonesia government had made great efforts to develop the region. They built new roads, schools, hospitals and other physical facilities. But during the 23 years of the integration, the East Timorese had witnessed or experienced much unfair treatment from the military: rapes, assaults and killings.

As a result, almost 80 percent of the people voted for independence when they cast their ballots on Aug. 30. The rest voted for autonomy.

Yuliana, an East Timorese who studies in a college in Yogyakarta, said that she lost her father, Bernaldo, and her two brothers when she was still a child. She said that her father was killed by seven people, including four armed forces members, in August 1978.

"They scratched father's face with a knife and later danced over his body," she said. "They also stabbed his chest."

The scream of her mother did not stop them. They continued torturing Bernaldo until he died, and then spit on him.

They dragged his body to a yard, about 14 kilometers from the house. Local residents who saw it did not dare to say anything as they were also threatened to be killed if they would defend Bernaldo, who was accused of being a Falintil follower.

"Mother fell unconscious several times because she remembered the incident," said Yuliana, crying.

Yuliana, who was born in Baucauni in 1978, said she did not know why her father was killed. She said that he was only a construction worker who knew nothing about politics.

Her two brothers had to leave the house as they were afraid of being killed. "Almost every night the army came to our house, looking for them," she said. They also forced her to reveal their hiding place. She said she did not know, but the military did not believe, so they hit her.

"I really don't know my brothers' whereabouts, I wish they are still alive," she said.

Garret Helmina, 25, also has bitter experiences. "We suffered a lot because of the Indonesian Armed Forces and the militia."

She said that according to her mother, she was almost killed when she was only four years-old. At that time, her mother went to the army headquarters in Maubara to see her father Almaida, who was being detained. "Suddenly one of the soldiers grabbed me and threw me on the ground. My mother said that I fell unconscious. Thank God, I was thrown to the grass, so that I could survive."

She said that it happened after there was a riot in her village. Without clear reasons, the army then came to their house at about 11 p.m. at night to take her father and put him in a cell. Her mother was later taken to the army headquarters as well. In the prison, both of them were tortured. "My father's face was sliced by knifes," she said aghast.

Her mother was released after two weeks, while her father six months later.

"Whenever I meet a soldier, I am always nervous. I am scared and have this hate feeling," she said.

Earlier, her brother was also killed. "A number of soldiers opened fires at him, his body decayed in the yard because nobody dared to take it." she said.

"They also burned down our house."

The violence continued. In 1989, her uncle, Antonio, was arrested as he was accused of being a member of the separatist group, dubbed Security Disturbance Group. Antonio was tortured severely during the detention.

"Blood often came out from uncle's mouth and ears," she said.

Antonio was later released, but he became a handicap. He was paralyzed and often screamed hysterically. Bela, his wife, protested against the army.

"Instead of listening to her, they shot my auntie," Hermina said. Bela is still alive even though she was shot in the waist.

"The wound is still there," she said.

Bela's cousin, Yosefina, 20, suffered more. She was raped by four soldiers when she was trying to save herself in the army headquarters because of the deadly Santa Cruz riots. Hundreds of people were reportedly killed during clashes between military and civilians on Nov. 12, 1991, but the government said then that only 19 people were killed.

Yuliana and Helmina cannot forget all of those bitter experiences. The trauma is still there in their whole life. So, if they voted for independence, it is not because they do not love Indonesia, but because they could not tolerate the violence.

The two women are only a few among the victims of violence in East Timor. There are thousands or maybe tens of thousands of other people who have also suffered the same fate, or even worse. "So, don't blame us if we want independence," Helmina said.