Traumatized East Timorese tell of grieving tales

Traumatized East Timorese tell of grieving tales

By Singgir Kartana

YOGYAKARTA (JP): Some people might wonder why almost 80
percent of East Timorese voted for independence. Why did they do
it even though for more than 23 years they have received large
amounts of funding from the Indonesian government to develop the
region?

Their choice might surprise those who have never been to East
Timor or those who do not really know about their condition. But
for the majority of the East Timorese, they are determined to
become independent. A former Portuguese colony, East Timor
"integrated" with Indonesia in 1976. It is true that the
Indonesia government had made great efforts to develop the
region. They built new roads, schools, hospitals and other
physical facilities. But during the 23 years of the integration,
the East Timorese had witnessed or experienced much unfair
treatment from the military: rapes, assaults and killings.

As a result, almost 80 percent of the people voted for
independence when they cast their ballots on Aug. 30. The rest
voted for autonomy.

Yuliana, an East Timorese who studies in a college in
Yogyakarta, said that she lost her father, Bernaldo, and her two
brothers when she was still a child. She said that her father was
killed by seven people, including four armed forces members, in
August 1978.

"They scratched father's face with a knife and later danced
over his body," she said. "They also stabbed his chest."

The scream of her mother did not stop them. They continued
torturing Bernaldo until he died, and then spit on him.

They dragged his body to a yard, about 14 kilometers from the
house. Local residents who saw it did not dare to say anything as
they were also threatened to be killed if they would defend
Bernaldo, who was accused of being a Falintil follower.

"Mother fell unconscious several times because she remembered
the incident," said Yuliana, crying.

Yuliana, who was born in Baucauni in 1978, said she did not
know why her father was killed. She said that he was only a
construction worker who knew nothing about politics.

Her two brothers had to leave the house as they were afraid of
being killed. "Almost every night the army came to our house,
looking for them," she said. They also forced her to reveal their
hiding place. She said she did not know, but the military did not
believe, so they hit her.

"I really don't know my brothers' whereabouts, I wish they are
still alive," she said.

Garret Helmina, 25, also has bitter experiences. "We suffered
a lot because of the Indonesian Armed Forces and the militia."

She said that according to her mother, she was almost killed
when she was only four years-old. At that time, her mother went
to the army headquarters in Maubara to see her father Almaida,
who was being detained. "Suddenly one of the soldiers grabbed me
and threw me on the ground. My mother said that I fell
unconscious. Thank God, I was thrown to the grass, so that I
could survive."

She said that it happened after there was a riot in her
village. Without clear reasons, the army then came to their house
at about 11 p.m. at night to take her father and put him in a
cell. Her mother was later taken to the army headquarters as
well. In the prison, both of them were tortured. "My father's
face was sliced by knifes," she said aghast.

Her mother was released after two weeks, while her father six
months later.

"Whenever I meet a soldier, I am always nervous. I am scared
and have this hate feeling," she said.

Earlier, her brother was also killed. "A number of soldiers
opened fires at him, his body decayed in the yard because nobody
dared to take it." she said.

"They also burned down our house."

The violence continued. In 1989, her uncle, Antonio, was
arrested as he was accused of being a member of the separatist
group, dubbed Security Disturbance Group. Antonio was tortured
severely during the detention.

"Blood often came out from uncle's mouth and ears," she said.

Antonio was later released, but he became a handicap. He was
paralyzed and often screamed hysterically. Bela, his wife,
protested against the army.

"Instead of listening to her, they shot my auntie," Hermina
said. Bela is still alive even though she was shot in the waist.

"The wound is still there," she said.

Bela's cousin, Yosefina, 20, suffered more. She was raped by
four soldiers when she was trying to save herself in the army
headquarters because of the deadly Santa Cruz riots. Hundreds of
people were reportedly killed during clashes between military and
civilians on Nov. 12, 1991, but the government said then that
only 19 people were killed.

Yuliana and Helmina cannot forget all of those bitter
experiences. The trauma is still there in their whole life. So,
if they voted for independence, it is not because they do not
love Indonesia, but because they could not tolerate the violence.

The two women are only a few among the victims of violence in
East Timor. There are thousands or maybe tens of thousands of
other people who have also suffered the same fate, or even worse.
"So, don't blame us if we want independence," Helmina said.