Transsexual calls for acceptance

Transsexual calls for acceptance

Tatik Chusniyati, Contributor, Malang

Jangan Lihat Kelaminku! Suara Hati Seorang Waria

(Don't look at my genitals! Conscience of a transsexual)

Merlyn Sopjan

Galang Press, April 2005

205 pp

The general public is still uncomfortable with the presence of
transsexuals, who are often stereotyped as useless, a social
outcast who exists merely to satiate sexual desire.

Because of this marginalization, transsexuals tend to
establish their own communities.

Merlyn Sopjan, a transsexual and a graduate of the National
Institute of Technology in Malang, East Java, has lashed out with
her indictment over the way a transsexual is usually treated in
society in her autobiography, Jangan Lihat Kelaminku! Suara Hati
Seorang Waria (Don't look at my genitals! Conscience of a
transsexual). As a transsexual, she wants to be appreciated like
other human beings. A transsexual is no different from other
people, and have the same feelings and are physically and
intellectually no different, she says.

Merlyn, now chairman of the Malang branch of the Association
of Transsexuals, proved her point when she was named Queen of
Transsexuals in 1995; and 2003, when she ran in the Malang
mayoral election and was one of the top legislative candidates
nominated by the Indonesian Justice and Unity Party, Malang.

Also a social activist, Merlyn has been appointed by Family
Health International as a partner in raising HIV/AIDS awareness
in Greater Malang, for which she was conferred and honorary
doctorate by Northern California Global University.

Furthermore, Merlyn is to represent Indonesia in an upcoming
world transsexual pageant.

All these comprise proud achievements that underline Merlyn's
point that a transsexual, just like other people, have ambitions,
ideals and aspirations. She thus regrets that some people still
segregate transsexuals in society.

Physically, Merlyn is beautiful, stylish and elegant, although
her Adam's apple is still prominent, and she is a polite and
gentle woman. Unsurprisingly, many men have fallen in love with
her, and she has been in at least seven relationships.

As with many women, Merlyn has not been lucky in love. She was
once in love with an ex, Nino, who left her to marry another
woman, a classmate from his university days.

Yet, Merlyn has tried to be strong. "Perhaps I will always
love you, not because there is no one else that I could love, but
because I only want to love you. When night falls, let me be the
darkness so that you can feel that it is this darkness that makes
a perfect night. And without me, you, too, will be in a void."
(p. 26)

As with any human being, Merlyn wants to love and be loved. If
possible, she wants to get married one day. "It is my longing to
be in someone's possession, Boy. I realize that I need love in my
life." ("Letter Five", p. 115)

Deep inside, however, Merlyn realizes that a marriage between
a transsexual and a man is impossible in Indonesia, and she has
tried to be realistic and accept this fact. Still, as she has
said so in a discussion of her autobiography, she was slightly
disappointed that a marriage law on this issue had yet to be
drafted here.

Merlyn reveals all in her autobiography, which is based on her
diary, the book stands testimony to the struggle that Merlyn has
faced in her effort to gain proper respect as a human being --
and not to be judged only on the basis of her (im)perfect
genitals. Even without perfect genitals, she writes, life will
continue as long as you breathe, and as long as you live, you
will continue to create.

Jangan Lihat Kelaminku! Suara Hati Seorang Waria, the true
story of one transsexual's experience, is expected to open the
door of tolerance in the hearts of those who generally frown upon
the existence of a transsexual.

Nothing is perfect in this world, and no one is perfect,
either. As Merlyn stresses in her introduction, we are all His
creations, born with many limitations.

The reviewer is an observer of social affairs and lives in
Malang.