Tips for Helping Someone with Mental Health Problems
Jakarta (ANTARA) – Child, adolescent and family psychologist Efnie Indrianie, S.Psi, M.Psi, has outlined what people should and should not do when trying to help someone facing mental health problems.
Speaking to ANTARA in Jakarta on Saturday, she said that when someone begins to open up about their mental health, they are showing a great deal of trust.
“Our initial response will largely determine whether they feel safe enough to continue talking or instead withdraw again,” said Efnie, who is a member of the Indonesian Neuropsychology Association, part of the Indonesian Psychological Association.
When someone talks about mental health problems, the person listening should pay close attention, avoid interrupting and not rush to offer solutions, she said.
According to Efnie, the listener should validate the other person’s emotions. This does not mean agreeing with all their thoughts or behaviour, but recognising that their emotional experience is real and deserves to be understood.
Efnie suggested phrases such as: “Thank you for trusting me and being willing to talk”; “I can imagine this isn’t an easy situation for you”; “You don’t have to face everything alone”; “I’m here if you need someone”; and “What do you think would help you most right now?”
She also said it was important to offer support according to the person’s needs by asking whether they would like someone to listen, help finding a solution, or accompany them in seeking professional assistance.
“Not everyone needs answers when they talk. Sometimes what they need most is someone who can listen without judging, understand without making comparisons, and be there without applying pressure,” she said.
Remarks to avoid include: “You’re overreacting”; “Don’t think about it so much”; “Other people have bigger problems”; “You should be more grateful”; “You have to be strong, don’t be weak”; “Just think positively”; and “It’s all in your head.”
Efnie said such comments could make people feel that their emotional experiences were not acknowledged or were considered inappropriate. Although they might be intended kindly, they could leave someone feeling that their emotions had been trivialised and their experience misunderstood, she said.
As a result, people experiencing mental health problems may become more reluctant to talk, feel alone or choose to conceal their condition, added Efnie, a lecturer at Maranatha Christian University’s Faculty of Psychology.
She also stressed the importance of keeping what someone shares about their mental health confidential, unless there is a serious risk to their safety or that of others.
If someone expresses a desire to end their life, the listener should ask directly whether they are thinking about suicide and help connect them with a professional or emergency service, she said.
If there are signs of danger, the person facing mental health problems should not be left alone.
Efnie urged everyone to learn to be family members, friends and companions who are present not only when someone is happy, but also stay with them when they are feeling weak.
“Sometimes, one person who is truly willing to listen can be the beginning of someone’s long journey towards recovery,” she said.
“And remember, we do not always have to solve other people’s problems. Sometimes it is enough to be a safe place where they can feel, be heard and be accepted,” Efnie said.