The terrible headache of the 'krismon'

The terrible headache of the 'krismon'

JAKARTA (JP): It must be the krismon (monetary crisis), why
else would I be having more difficulty reading now? Newspapers
are shrinking and the print has become smaller -- media moguls
must also be economizing on printing ink too, because the letters
have become less clear.

The other day, Tanya said that I was shrinking because I held
the piece of paper that I was reading so far from me in order to
be able read it. Unfortunately my arm was too short and I gave up
defeated!

No, I don't think I am shrinking, but we do not get good
quality light these days. Because of the krismon, the electricity
board gives us poor quality light and during the day, pollution
blocks out the sunlight.

Tanya said that if I had difficulty reading, I should ask
somebody to read it for me, but I don't think that would help me
because people talk so softly nowadays. They mumble, forcing me
to ask continually: "What did you say?" They probably don't have
enough money to go to the dentist.

Only music is loud these days, especially in the malls, and
that is why I hate going shopping. The floors in the malls are
slippery and the escalators go so fast. But staying at home has
become quite eerie these days, because my belongings keep on
disappearing, especially my keys. Sometimes I am sure that I have
put my keys in one place, but they are never there when I go back
to look for them. Who moved them? It may be some dukun santet
(sorcerers) at work, like those who work in East Java. I hope the
ninjas don't come in search of them while they are at work in my
home.

So from time to time I venture out onto slippery floors and
have lunch or high tea with friends. I don't enjoy the food as
much as I used to -- it is usually tasteless because restaurant
owners are trying to save on the cost of spices. The meat is
usually tough, again the work of the krismon, I'm sure. And don't
talk about chicken! It is usually tough and dry. Not only human
beings, chickens too are suffering from malnourishment because of
the krismon!

Nevertheless, going out can still be exciting because I get to
hear all the latest gossip and jokes. The real news in Indonesia
does not come from TVRI, but from the people themselves. That is
why it is important to go out and listen to what they have to
say. However, sometimes this leads to arguments.

One day I went out with Tanya for a lunch meeting. On the way,
we had to stop at a money changer to change some dollars on the
advice of one of her friends. When the dollar is weakening you
have to buy rupiah. So she changed a few hundred of them and we
went on our way. All was well until Lydia came in clutching her
mobile phone to her ear. Covering the mouth piece she said: "The
dollar has gone up by three hundred. It's now 7,500. I bought
some for 7,000 yesterday. I made a profit of 500!"

What, Tanya thought, I just changed mine for 7,200 this
morning, so I lost 300!

She was still smarting from the loss when Nani arrived and
said: "Goodness me, the rupiah is weakening, I changed my dollars
this morning for 7,000 and now it's gone to 7,800!"

Tanya then felt better because she knew somebody else had lost
more than she had, but Nani continued and said. "Well, they say
it's good for exports."

We were all speechless and concentrated on eating our tough,
dry food until Lydia broke the silence by saying:

"Is it also good for people? Can people eat exports?"

A heated debate then followed on the pros and cons of
different exchange rates, leaving me feeling something of an
outsider. Having neither dollars nor rupiah to trade, I could not
share in their joys and disappointments. Although the krismon has
changed my life in many ways, I am glad that I have not joined
the dollar rat race like Tanya, Lydia and Nani. I don't mind
getting old, but going crazy is another thing altogether!

-- Myra Sidharta