The horn, Jakartans' language of choice

The horn, Jakartans' language of choice

JAKARTA (JP): Arriving at the hotel from the airport, my
English friend shouted excitedly, "Only fifteen times, much
better."

I was in the middle of a hassle in the hotel parking lot but
managed to demand an explanation. "What is fifteen times? And
what is much better?"

"Between Cengkareng and the hotel, you only blew your horn
fifteen times. Usually, it's twenty-five or thirty."

"So you were counting honks while I was struggling with
traffic? Charming. Haven't you got anything better to do?"

"I've been conducting a study. You people are very fond of
your horns. You blast them for reasons that I don't understand,"
he explained.

"What's wrong with that?"

"A horn, my deah," he explained in his Cockney accent, "is
designed as a warning device to avoid accidents, not to release
your frustrations. To me it is just noise pollution. It drives me
crazy to hear a hundred cars honking simultaneously at a
congested intersection. Blowing your horn won't help anything. If
you're a second late when the light changes, Indonesians will
scream at you with their horns as if you had been sleeping in
your car for an hour."

I didn't realize how often I blew my horn until he pointed it
out. When driving, I concentrate on the traffic. Blowing a horn
is just a reaction to what I see along the way.

It's true that Indonesians misuse the device for non-traffic-
related purposes.

Indonesians blare the things whenever we want. We blow horns
to say "Hurry up, man!" to drivers in front of us. We blast them
to leer at the lady driving next us. When we overtake another car
we mindlessly blow our horns to say, "Excuse me, but my car is
faster, newer and more reliable than yours."

My friend's comment also inspired my ever-concerned wife to do
her usual non-profit research.

"Indonesians blow their horns to announce their well being.
Polan, our rich neighbor, does it to brag that he has bought a
new car."

"Indonesians blare `Good morning' or `Hi' by a horn.
Indonesian men honk to harass beautiful girls. And, when I drove
your car to the cigarette vendor and blasted the horn, a package
of your favorite cigarettes appeared without my saying a single
word."

Her prattling was interrupted by a honk. It was our driver,
announcing that the car was washed and ready to take our youngest
daughter to school. She jumped to attention and rushed out. No
hollering was necessary, not a word was spoken -- thanks to the
horn.

-- Carl Chairul