The 'Enggak Enakan' Culture That Is Secretly Exhausting

Have you ever found it difficult to refuse someone’s request even though you are actually busy or unable to do it? Or have you ever agreed to something simply because you were afraid of being perceived as uncaring? If so, you might be experiencing the ‘nggak enakan’ culture. This habit is often regarded as a form of politeness, yet if practiced continuously, it can actually become a burden to oneself.

The ‘nggak enakan’ culture has long been a part of Indonesian society. From a young age, many are taught to always respect others, help their fellows, and protect the feelings of those around them. These values are certainly positive, but they are sometimes misinterpreted to the point where an individual sacrifices their comfort, time, and even their health to meet the expectations of others.

Unknowingly, this habit can lead to various negative impacts. Someone who frequently suppresses their feelings tends to feel exhausted, stressed, and may even lose opportunities to meet their own needs. On the other hand, those around them may assume that they are always willing to help, leading to a continuous stream of requests that do not consider the person’s actual condition.

Learning to say ‘no’ does not mean becoming a selfish person. Refusing politely is actually a form of self-respect and a way to maintain healthy relationships. For example, when facing a heavy workload, one could say, ‘I am sorry, I cannot help this time because I have tasks that must be completed.’ In this manner, one can remain kind without overextending themselves.

Establishing boundaries is also a crucial step to prevent the ‘nggak enakan’ habit from dominating one’s life. Every individual has limited time, energy, and capacity. Therefore, not all requests must be fulfilled. Setting limits does not mean distancing oneself from others, but rather maintaining a balance between helping others and caring for oneself.

Ultimately, being a good person does not always mean agreeing to every request. Politeness remains important, but mental health, time, and personal happiness are equally valuable. From now on, there is no harm in learning to say ‘no’ when necessary. By doing so, we can help others without sacrificing ourselves.