The 'Elopement' Tradition of Pedawa Village in Buleleng

Bali is not only known for its natural beauty, but also for its rich culture and well-preserved traditions. One unique tradition that attracts considerable attention is Melaib Ngemaling, or elopement, in Pedawa Village, Banjar District, Buleleng. This elopement tradition may sound negative. However, this culture has been passed down through generations and is part of the customary system of Pedawa Village. The terms ‘melaib’ and ‘ngemaling’ originate from the Balinese language, meaning ‘run’ and ‘steal’. The practice of this tradition is similar to an elopement carried out on the basis of mutual affection and with the agreement of both parties. The tradition is initiated by the man, who will ‘run away with’ or ‘steal’ the woman from her parents’ home to marry her. Although this tradition sounds like a criminal act, the customary rules of Pedawa Traditional Village consider this elopement an honourable and legitimate method. It is seen as a form of proof and a man’s courage in taking on the great responsibility of building a household. Many people equate the Melaib Ngemaling tradition with Ngerorod. In reality, the two traditions are different. The fundamental differences between ‘Melaib Ngemaling’ and ‘Ngerorod’ are: Ngerorod is often carried out due to a lack of parental blessing, whereas Melaib Ngemaling is a standard procedure previously approved by the parents. Melaib Ngemaling involves a ‘stealing’ process with specific procedures involving several witnesses from the man’s family. The main focus of Melaib Ngemaling is solely the union of two souls before the ancestors, in line with the Bali Aga philosophy that does not recognise a strict caste system in marriage. The wedding procession does not happen overnight. There is prior planning and a series of stages regulated through generations, as follows. Agreement: Before the ‘stealing’ action, the man and woman involved usually already have a romantic bond. It begins with the man sending an implied message of his serious intentions. However, the ‘theft’ must not be known to the woman’s parents. The Melaib Process: At the time agreed upon by the couple, the melaib action is carried out with the man picking up the woman at night or in the early morning. The woman’s departure from her home is done secretly without saying goodbye to her parents, thus fulfilling the ‘ngemaling’ requirement of the tradition. Official Notification: Once the woman arrives at the man’s family home, the man’s parents or a community leader must send an envoy the next day to inform them that their daughter is safe. This envoy also brings tipat and banten as symbols of peace and a request for permission to proceed with the marriage process. Several important values are believed by the Pedawa Village community regarding Melaib Ngemaling. The process of the woman being ‘stolen’ is considered highly valuable because the man must make an effort before obtaining her. This tradition indirectly teaches young couples to be brave in making major life decisions without being dictated to by their parents. The process, which involves family and even neighbours, has social value aimed at uniting the two extended families of the eloping couple. However, as times have evolved, the Melaib Ngemaling tradition has begun to be adapted. The procession, which was once purely secret, is now merely a ‘simulation’ to preserve the custom. Thus, this tradition is not just an ordinary wedding tradition, but a reflection of the community’s effort to maintain their cultural values and identity.