Reclaiming Adab: How Digital Streams Are Eroding Children's Manners
Recently, a short video circulated on social media showing a primary school-aged child throwing a tantrum at their parents over a trivial matter. What was truly disheartening was not just the anger, but the child’s choice of words. Crude vocabulary, a dismissive tone, and a complete loss of respect were displayed without any sense of guilt. In the comments section, thousands of people expressed similar concerns, lamenting that children today are increasingly losing their manners.
This phenomenon is not an isolated incident. On the streets, in school environments, and even within our own homes, there is a tangible shift in how children communicate. Friendly greetings to neighbours or elders are becoming increasingly rare. Requests for help, expressions of gratitude, and apologies—once the basic foundation of social interaction—seem to have vanished from their daily vocabulary.
Why has this character decline become so widespread? The easiest answer is to point to social media as the sole reason. However, if we examine the issue more deeply from a humanities perspective, the problem is far more complex than just the influence of a mobile phone in a child’s hand. Digital screens have slowly but surely usurped the role of traditional social environments in shaping a child’s personality. In the past, a child learned about moral boundaries, politeness, and social propriety from direct interactions in the living room, on the front porch, with neighbours, and in places of worship. There was a warm and immediate social control that worked when a child made a mistake in a public space. Unfortunately, these meaningful physical interactions have now been replaced by the cold, morally compass-less algorithms of the virtual world. In this digital realm, the line between what is appropriate and what is not becomes dangerously blurred.
Our children are daily served content from creators who gain popularity through instant means, such as using harsh language, engaging in excessive pranks, or belittling others, all for the sake of a statistic called the view count. For a child who is not yet emotionally and cognitively mature, what goes viral and is liked by many is perceived as a new truth to be imitated in order to avoid social exclusion. They struggle to distinguish between acting for entertainment and the social realities that must be respected in everyday life.
The loss of politeness is not merely a loss of linguistic formality; it is a warning sign of eroding empathy in the younger generation. Manners are the most tangible manifestation of how humans respect each other’s existence. When these etiquettes fade, children grow into egocentric individuals, insensitive to the feelings of others, and always prioritising their own comfort above all else. If left unchecked, we are preparing a future generation that is digitally brilliant but socially and emotionally disabled. Ultimately, intelligence without adab will only breed a colder, more fractured society.
Of course, this significant problem cannot be solved simply by scolding children or unilaterally confiscating their gadgets. Such harsh measures often widen the gap and damage communication between parent and child. The most urgent first step is to rebuild the fortress of role modelling within our own homes. Children are the most astute imitators. They may ignore lengthy lectures, but they never fail to copy the daily behaviour of their parents. It is impossible to expect a child to speak gently if, at the dinner table, they hear their parents shouting and cursing while discussing work or politics on television. The habit of respecting others must begin with how we treat our children at home. Value their opinions, use polite words when asking for their help, and make it a habit to sincerely apologise when we make a mistake in front of them.
Beyond role modelling, we need to revive the tradition of dialogue within the family. Set aside dedicated time each day, free from screen distractions, to share stories, listen to children’s concerns, and critically discuss what they encounter on the internet. Parents must act as the first filter, explaining why certain behaviours seen on social media should not be replicated in the real world. Through equal dialogue, children feel valued and become more open to receiving guidance.
Re-teaching manners amidst the onslaught of the digital world is no easy task. It is a long struggle that requires patience, consistency, and cooperation from all parties—family, schools, and the community. We must not give up and allow the noble character of our children to be swept away by the soulless currents of internet algorithms. In the end, a nation’s civilisation is not measured by the sophistication of the technology it masters, but by the level of adab and courtesy upheld by its generations.