Psychologist: Possessive Partner Behaviour Can Indicate an Unhealthy Relationship
Clinical psychologist Kasandra Putranto warns that possessive behaviour in a partner needs to be watched closely, as it can serve as a red flag in a relationship. According to her, such behaviour can lead to unhealthy relationships or even domestic violence.
“In relationship psychology, such behaviour can be a warning sign leading to an unhealthy relationship or even violence within the relationship,” Kasandra stated when contacted from Jakarta on Wednesday (24/6).
Kasandra, a psychology graduate from the University of Indonesia, explained that a healthy relationship should be built on a foundation of respect, trust, and appreciation for each other’s personal boundaries. When one party begins to dominate and reduce their partner’s autonomy, it can signal that the relationship is no longer healthy.
Under the concept of coercive control, Kasandra explained that individuals behaving possessively can gradually restrict their partner’s freedom. This can take the form of constant surveillance, social isolation, intimidation, and the regulation of daily activities.
“In the early stages, this behaviour often appears as care, for example, always wanting to know a partner’s whereabouts, requesting reports on every activity, or showing excessive disclosure under the guise of worry,” she said.
According to Kasandra, it is important for individuals to understand that possessive behaviour often emerges subtly. Because it is frequently misinterpreted as a form of attention or affection, victims may not immediately realise they are in a relationship pattern leading towards violence.
Kasandra emphasised that possessive behaviour does not always result in physical violence. In many situations, possessive actions can also manifest as psychological violence, such as manipulation, veiled threats, and the control of a partner’s activities.
Such behaviour can develop gradually until the victim feels unable to make decisions for themselves. This condition is dangerous because the victim may lose their independence in determining their life choices.
“Because it happens gradually, victims often do not realise they are in a relationship containing elements of violence,” said Kasandra.
Based on Kasandra’s explanation, several behaviours can indicate a relationship is moving towards an unhealthy pattern: [Note: The source text ends the list abruptly before the specific indicators].
If such patterns occur repeatedly and make someone feel fearful, pressured, or lose their freedom, the relationship needs to be seriously evaluated.
Warnings regarding possessive behaviour have also emerged amidst recent cases of violence against women. A 29-year-old woman was reported to have been held captive and abused by her 30-year-old lover for approximately three years in the Bandung Regency area.
The woman was reported to have lost contact with her family since 2023. She was later found in critical condition in a hospital after allegedly being subjected to cruel confinement and abuse by her boyfriend.
Kasandra emphasised that a healthy relationship should not cause someone to lose their freedom, sense of security, or ability to make decisions. Therefore, possessive behaviour needs to be recognised early so that it does not develop into more serious patterns of violence.