Psychologist: Children Should Not Bear the Consequences of Their Parents' Mistakes

Jakarta - Child and family psychologist from the University of Indonesia’s Faculty of Psychology, Sani B. Hermawan, has stated that children should not have to bear the consequences of their parents’ mistakes, including becoming targets of bullying due to the actions of adults.

The statement was made in response to a case in which a parent allegedly sent a bomb threat to a primary school in Srengseng Sawah, South Jakarta. In that case, the perpetrator’s child was reported to have become a target of bullying as a result of the parent’s actions.

“The home or parents should be a safe and comfortable place for a child to develop. When the parents fail to function as that safe and comfortable place, the child becomes a victim,” Sani said when contacted in Jakarta on Wednesday.

According to her, when parents fail to provide a sense of security at home, the child risks losing the space to express their feelings and will have difficulty managing the emotions they experience.

“The child becomes unable to regulate their emotions properly; they accumulate negative emotions continuously until there is an outburst of other behaviours that can cause harm to themselves or others,” she said.

Sani said such conditions can be prevented if parents implement healthy parenting patterns and build open communication with their children so that they have a safe space to talk.

“The child can channel their emotions positively, and then parents and children can be open and confide in each other about what they feel. So, I think a healthy parenting pattern will be formed, which can actually develop the child’s functions better, rather than suppressing the child until they become despondent or ultimately fail to regulate their emotions,” she said.

In addition to the family, she believes that schools and the surrounding environment also have an important role in protecting children from the social and psychological impacts of adult mistakes.

“The child is not at fault; the child is a victim of a flawed system,” Sani said.

She added that schools need to provide a safe space for children to talk, while families and communities must prevent children from becoming targets of stigma or bullying for actions they did not commit.