Politeness can be both funny and illogical

Politeness can be both funny and illogical

JAKARTA (JP): Many Indonesians believe they should preserve
the virtues of politeness and hospitality amidst the dangerous
wave of globalization. They will do anything to promote the two
virtues, and are creative at doing so.

However, many people have been a little bit too creative,
confusing others with their nonsensical language.

There is a widespread trend among people behind microphones --
such as emcees and TV broadcasters -- to address a second person
by juggling grammatical terms. For example we hear an emcee thank
an invitee directly by saying: "Kepada Bapak Anu (So and So),
terimakasih atas kedatangan nya." On another occasion someone
will express gratitude to a generous person by shaking his hand
and stating: "Terimakasih Bu atas bantuannya."

As "nya" only means "his" or "her", the sentences translate as
"To Mr. So and So, thank you for his presence," and "Thank you
Madam, for her help."

This ridiculous trend has been made possible by Indonesians
great effort to appear polite by abusing the absence of a fitting
and polite word for second person singular.

There is, in fact, the word Anda, which was introduced in the
1950s as a practical and acceptable answer to the English "you".
But Anda has long slipped into the territory of advertisement.

The eclipse of Anda is quite lamentable because it is a polite
expression. To show respect and love to their ayah (father) and
ibu (mother) Indonesians say Ayahanda and Ibunda.

Moving further from Anda, Indonesians have found another way
to overcome the grammatical vacuum. They use ibu (mother) or
bapak (father) or saudara (brother) to address grown women and
men, like "Sir" or "Madame".

After independence, nationalist leaders still used Tuan-Tuan
dan Nyonya-nyonya which is equivalent to the Dutch "Dames en
Heeren" or English "Ladies and Gentlemen", only with gentlemen
mentioned first.

Ibu-ibu (mother), when it first replaced "Ladies", was taken
as absurd, but the march of time and a change of values gradually
made it acceptable. One reason is that the wives of many local
dignitaries preferred to be addressed as ibu although -- like in
other countries -- it means a woman with children. Since then ibu
has been applied to childless women and even unmarried girls.

The late Sutan Takdir Alisyahbana, the country's greatest
literary figure and scholar, attempted to straighten this
unhealthy habit by proposing the use of Puan-puan dan tuan-tuan,
for "Ladies and Gentlemen", as the Malaysians have long done. But
until his death last year, the idea failed to attract enough
attention. Many people believed it would be difficult to change
the existing habit and there is a strong tendency for locals to
imitate wrong examples.

Still on the word ibu, when you happen to be the guest of one
and you are served with tea or coffee she -- or her husband if
present -- will politely invite you to try the drink by pointing
to the cup with her thumb saying "Silakan diminum."

Anything wrong with this hospitality?. Sure. Any thinking
person with a tiny bit of pride for the national language would
realize the sentence literally means "Please be drunken." (Or
maybe: "Please make it be drunken."

This wrong usage might stem from the belief that to say
"Silahkan minum" sounds rude because it can be taken as an
instruction. It is actually not rude. In the politeness business,
however, people can be hypersensitive.

Some citizens have gone too far with their verbal
courteousness toward others. To invite someone to deliver a
speech an emcee doesn't want to say "I call Mr. So and So" but
Kepada Bapak Anu waktu dan tempat kami persilahkan (To Mr. So and
So, time and place are at your disposal).

Emcees have a still more polite way to honor a respected
guest. When the important person wants to leave, the emcee
doesn't say that the person wants to leave, and ladies and
gentlemen are requested to stand up. Nothing like that.

The powerful word berkenan, a legacy from the feudalistic era,
has become a must use in this case. It is hard to find a precise
meaning in English but it means something like "to be willing to
do, to be so kind as to" or "to have the pleasure to".

So an emcee in this situation will say: "Bapak Bupati berkenan
meninggalkan tempat acara," (Mr. Regent has the pleasure to leave
the ceremony). It conjures up pictures from an old feudalistic
era.

Respect for dignitaries or any person who is an object of
public attention goes further by giving them a special phrase
when their relatives are involved in a criminal offense.

They are not said to have committed a crime but to have been
involved in "a less admirable act" or suatu tindakan kurang
terpuji. It might sound queer in the age of modernization but
this is the fact.

However, politeness is heavily democratic at times. It is
applied to all classes. Prostitutes are no longer called pelacur
but WTS, a local acronym which is only as ugly as its full
sentence: women who lack morality.

And the pimps are also enjoying a new glory. They are now
mucikari. Since it sounds Sanskrit its is understood that a pimp
is an imported commodity. Anyway, mucikari has knocked out the
ugly germo from press reports.

The list can go on forever, prompting some friends to ask,
"Are we more polite than Europeans?" Could be. But Europeans have
included this precious virtue into their efficient, modern
system.

In advanced countries ubiquitous signs keep you from getting
lost. And the public service is so efficient that what takes
hours to do in Indonesia can be solved in minutes.

Since the few Indonesian signs aren't very clear anyway, we
have the opportunity to demonstrate our politeness by pointing
toward the toilet with our thumb.

Some of us willingly accompany the person to the room,
completing the duty by slightly bowing our body from the waist.

Remember, we are polite to everyone. But not to our national
language.

-- Thayeb I. Sabil