Politeness can be both funny and illogical

Politeness can be both funny and illogical

JAKARTA (JP): Many Indonesians believe they should preserve the virtues of politeness and hospitality amidst the dangerous wave of globalization. They will do anything to promote the two virtues, and are creative at doing so.

However, many people have been a little bit too creative, confusing others with their nonsensical language.

There is a widespread trend among people behind microphones -- such as emcees and TV broadcasters -- to address a second person by juggling grammatical terms. For example we hear an emcee thank an invitee directly by saying: "Kepada Bapak Anu (So and So), terimakasih atas kedatangan nya." On another occasion someone will express gratitude to a generous person by shaking his hand and stating: "Terimakasih Bu atas bantuannya."

As "nya" only means "his" or "her", the sentences translate as "To Mr. So and So, thank you for his presence," and "Thank you Madam, for her help."

This ridiculous trend has been made possible by Indonesians great effort to appear polite by abusing the absence of a fitting and polite word for second person singular.

There is, in fact, the word Anda, which was introduced in the 1950s as a practical and acceptable answer to the English "you". But Anda has long slipped into the territory of advertisement.

The eclipse of Anda is quite lamentable because it is a polite expression. To show respect and love to their ayah (father) and ibu (mother) Indonesians say Ayahanda and Ibunda.

Moving further from Anda, Indonesians have found another way to overcome the grammatical vacuum. They use ibu (mother) or bapak (father) or saudara (brother) to address grown women and men, like "Sir" or "Madame".

After independence, nationalist leaders still used Tuan-Tuan dan Nyonya-nyonya which is equivalent to the Dutch "Dames en Heeren" or English "Ladies and Gentlemen", only with gentlemen mentioned first.

Ibu-ibu (mother), when it first replaced "Ladies", was taken as absurd, but the march of time and a change of values gradually made it acceptable. One reason is that the wives of many local dignitaries preferred to be addressed as ibu although -- like in other countries -- it means a woman with children. Since then ibu has been applied to childless women and even unmarried girls.

The late Sutan Takdir Alisyahbana, the country's greatest literary figure and scholar, attempted to straighten this unhealthy habit by proposing the use of Puan-puan dan tuan-tuan, for "Ladies and Gentlemen", as the Malaysians have long done. But until his death last year, the idea failed to attract enough attention. Many people believed it would be difficult to change the existing habit and there is a strong tendency for locals to imitate wrong examples.

Still on the word ibu, when you happen to be the guest of one and you are served with tea or coffee she -- or her husband if present -- will politely invite you to try the drink by pointing to the cup with her thumb saying "Silakan diminum."

Anything wrong with this hospitality?. Sure. Any thinking person with a tiny bit of pride for the national language would realize the sentence literally means "Please be drunken." (Or maybe: "Please make it be drunken."

This wrong usage might stem from the belief that to say "Silahkan minum" sounds rude because it can be taken as an instruction. It is actually not rude. In the politeness business, however, people can be hypersensitive.

Some citizens have gone too far with their verbal courteousness toward others. To invite someone to deliver a speech an emcee doesn't want to say "I call Mr. So and So" but Kepada Bapak Anu waktu dan tempat kami persilahkan (To Mr. So and So, time and place are at your disposal).

Emcees have a still more polite way to honor a respected guest. When the important person wants to leave, the emcee doesn't say that the person wants to leave, and ladies and gentlemen are requested to stand up. Nothing like that.

The powerful word berkenan, a legacy from the feudalistic era, has become a must use in this case. It is hard to find a precise meaning in English but it means something like "to be willing to do, to be so kind as to" or "to have the pleasure to".

So an emcee in this situation will say: "Bapak Bupati berkenan meninggalkan tempat acara," (Mr. Regent has the pleasure to leave the ceremony). It conjures up pictures from an old feudalistic era.

Respect for dignitaries or any person who is an object of public attention goes further by giving them a special phrase when their relatives are involved in a criminal offense.

They are not said to have committed a crime but to have been involved in "a less admirable act" or suatu tindakan kurang terpuji. It might sound queer in the age of modernization but this is the fact.

However, politeness is heavily democratic at times. It is applied to all classes. Prostitutes are no longer called pelacur but WTS, a local acronym which is only as ugly as its full sentence: women who lack morality.

And the pimps are also enjoying a new glory. They are now mucikari. Since it sounds Sanskrit its is understood that a pimp is an imported commodity. Anyway, mucikari has knocked out the ugly germo from press reports.

The list can go on forever, prompting some friends to ask, "Are we more polite than Europeans?" Could be. But Europeans have included this precious virtue into their efficient, modern system.

In advanced countries ubiquitous signs keep you from getting lost. And the public service is so efficient that what takes hours to do in Indonesia can be solved in minutes.

Since the few Indonesian signs aren't very clear anyway, we have the opportunity to demonstrate our politeness by pointing toward the toilet with our thumb.

Some of us willingly accompany the person to the room, completing the duty by slightly bowing our body from the waist.

Remember, we are polite to everyone. But not to our national language.

-- Thayeb I. Sabil