Tue, 05 Nov 1996

People to people (1)

Be polite or impolite? I am referring to the correspondence in the letters column of The Jakarta Post on Oct. 30, 1996 and Nov. 2, 1996.

I am of the opinion that it is not in good taste to suggest being impolite to Indonesians. Being guests of this country, foreigners should do well not to adopt a negative attitude. By being impolite, we only end up making the situation more difficult. I strongly believe the cure is worse than the disease.

Whenever someone in Indonesia calls you "mister," most of the time it simply means "sir". When traders say "mister," they are just inviting you to look at their wares. If a telephone operator mentions "Mr," this again is not being said in a derogatory manner.

There are times in public places when you may encounter some youth calling "hello mister". It could be that he only wants to be friendly with you or would like to show off his newfound English knowledge to his friends.

One need not be a Roman in Rome, but at least one can try to be a human being anywhere. It is difficult to be like Mahatma Gandhi, who advocated showing the other cheek when someone slaps you in the face.

By the tone of someone's "hello mister," we may reasonably judge whether it is a simple greeting or a sarcastic delivery. Mostly, one should be able to return the "hello" jovially or, if the situation really demands, we may even ignore the greeting and move on. Seldom a foreigner is pursued vigorously and irritatingly.

By and large, I reckon Indonesians are still friendly and show tolerance toward expatriates. Although, of late, the rat race for survival in this highly competitive environment might have reduced their innate natural qualities. yt is a price a developing country has to pay for globalization.

Aren't we wrong in assuming unfriendly connotations behind smiling people? Why should we consider that a smile will always be followed by snide remarks? Courtesy is a two-way street. Once in a while, at least, why don't we start smiling and show a cheerful disposition toward these countrymen?

"I like you. You make me happy. I am happy to see you" -- these are all messages a sincere smile conveys. According to a scholar: "What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity."

Lastly, I would agree that people express their opinions from their personal experiences and perspectives. But still, basic human nature, which is essentially good, cannot be far too different anywhere in the world.

D. CHANDRAMOULI

Jakarta