More Young People Choosing Not to Marry, and It's Not About the Economy

Four years may sound like enough time to heal a broken heart. But for some, the sudden failure of an engagement can leave emotional scars far deeper than a typical breakup. That is the story of one individual whose life changed drastically after their fiancé abruptly ended the relationship nearly four years ago. According to Cosmopolitan, since that day, they have never met their former fiancé again. The incident not only ended a planned wedding but also shattered their views on commitment and long-term relationships. While heartbreak is often cited as a reason people avoid marriage, data from the Pew Research Center confirms that the reluctance to walk down the aisle is not just an emotional reaction but a real demographic trend. The share of unmarried 40-year-olds in the United States hit a record 25% in 2021, a sharp increase from just 6% in 1980. The average age of adults choosing not to marry has risen significantly since the 1950s. This phenomenon shows that for today’s younger generations, surviving and thriving in society no longer depends on marital status. Many Millennials and Gen Z grew up in traumatic environments, witnessing Baby Boomers—who recorded the highest divorce rates—trapped in prolonged marital conflicts both at home and in court. For many young people, their parents’ marriages are not an ideal to aspire to but rather a stark warning to avoid at all costs. Beyond childhood trauma, the reluctance to enter into a legal bond is also driven by social shifts and economic pressures. Rising financial instability has changed the definition of being ‘ready’ for marriage. Many couples feel they must first reach a certain income level or buy a house—goals that are increasingly difficult to achieve. Many young people, particularly women, are also distancing themselves from the institution due to its long history of patriarchal structures and gender discrimination. In Indonesia, data from the Central Statistics Agency (BPS) reveals a similar trend of citizens becoming increasingly reluctant to marry. According to the 2024 Statistics Indonesia report, there has been a significant downward trend in the number of marriages over the past six years, with the most drastic decline occurring in the last three. From 2021 to 2023, the number of marriages in Indonesia fell by 2 million. This trend is evident in almost all regions. In DKI Jakarta, for instance, marriages decreased by nearly 4,000, while in West Java, the drop was almost 29,000. Similar conditions were observed in other densely populated provinces, such as Central Java, which saw a decrease of up to 21,000, and East Java, which recorded a drop of up to 13,000.