Mental Burden and Revenge Bedtime Procrastination Leave Mothers with Inadequate Rest
Every parent has different parenting styles and family values. Yet there is one commonality felt by almost all parents: losing sleep at night due to looking after their children. For a mother, these sleepless nights do not end even after children pass the baby stage.
The BetterSleep habit-tracking app, in collaboration with Wakefield Research, has just released the Bedtime Report. The report surveyed 1,000 mothers with children under 18 in the United States to examine their sleep quality.
The results show that 29% of mothers say they have not slept soundly in the past week. Only 23% of mothers meet the minimum nightly sleep of seven hours. The situation is more acute for single mothers, 33% of whom report sleeping five hours or less.
Interestingly, the main cause of these mothers’ wakefulness at night is not interruptions from their children. As many as 70% of mothers say anxiety, mental burden, or racing thoughts are the main reasons why they have trouble sleeping. Meanwhile, 20% blame their partner’s snoring.
In addition, the survey notes that 68% of mothers intentionally stay up late. This phenomenon is known as revenge bedtime procrastination, or procrastination of sleep time as a revenge. Many mothers choose to stay awake until late at night to ensure household chores are completed, such as folding laundry, washing dishes, or simply getting time to bathe peacefully without interruptions.
Chronic sleep deprivation has unhealthy impacts on daily life. Parents who are exhausted tend to be more easily irritable, have difficulty focusing, and struggle to enjoy time with their children.
The data from the report also show that 48% of respondents feel they are merely going through routines without emotional connection with their children, 34% rely more on devices or television to distract their children to cope with the day, and 20% of mothers admit feeling emotionally detached from their biological children.
This condition does not mean the mothers are failing in parenting; rather, they are shouldering too many role expectations—from mental counsellor, cook, doctor, event organiser, to personal shopping assistant for the family.
The adverse effects also spill over into the workplace. As many as 53% of working mothers say they have taken sick leave, left early, or experienced a decline in work performance in the past year due to sleep deprivation.
The lack of rest time causes mothers to sacrifice time for themselves. 49% exercise less, 46% reduce time for hobbies, and 45% cut time spent socialising with friends.
Ironically, 36% of the surveyed mothers still think rest is something they must ‘win’ or secure by working hard first. This mindset is seen as triggering physical and mental burnout. To address this crisis, mothers need psychological support, real help from partners or extended family, and workplace flexibility to obtain proper rest rights.