Menopause is inevitable, but life goes on

Menopause is inevitable, but life goes on

By Rita A. Widiadana

JAKARTA (JP): As a top executive, Lidya Budiman (not her real
name) spends most of her days attending various business
meetings.

On the eve of her 46th birthday early this month, she attended
a very important meeting with her company's board of directors.
During the meeting she suddenly felt heat rush to her face and
she broke out in a sweat.

"I felt so embarrassed to go through menopausal symptoms in
front of male colleagues, even though they probably didn't
notice," she recalled.

She experienced hot flashes, headaches and back pain several
times a day. At first she had no idea it was menopause, thinking
her symptoms were due to her high-stress job as a director at a
fast-paced corporate company. Besides, she had always thought a
woman went through menopause in her late 50s.

"I was totally in denial and went into a horrible emotional
and physical state for the first two months of my menopause. I
didn't know how to share my feelings with others, even with my
husband. But, now I find that it was just a part of being a
woman," said Lydia who still maintains her heavy work schedule.

Millions of middle-aged women worldwide share Lydia's feelings
when the inevitable happens.

In the past, menopause was something women themselves didn't
want to discuss -- not with their husbands, mothers, daughters,
doctors or their closest friends. Many women still fear that
broaching the subject could affect their relationships and they
prefer to think their mates do not notice what is happening. Even
supportive husbands are not sure how to broach the topic.

Even women who want to know more about what is happening to
their bodies hesitate to ask questions because menopause carries
the unspoken social stigma: "You are getting old".

A century ago few women lived very long after their ovaries
stopped functioning. Today, many women may live another 20 years
after menopause and most are determined to make the best of the
years.

In the West, menopause has become a hot issue. The United
States government, for instance, has paid serious attention to
menopause by launching a special project called Women's Health
Initiative. The project focuses on various studies and research
to help the rocketing number of aging female baby boomers facing
menopause. In the next decade, the number of aging women in the
U.S. will reach 40 million.

High-profile magazines such as Time and Newsweek have had
articles on menopause as their main features. New informative
books including The Silent Passage written by Gail Sheehy and New
Passage by anthropologist Margaret Mead are now on the market to
help women better understand various menopausal symptoms and ways
to deal with them.

Embarrassing

In Indonesia, menopause is still an embarrassing subject to
talk about, and information on the subject is scarce. But in the
last few years people have started to discuss menopause in
public.

Recently, local medical magazine Higina and the organization
of civil servants' wives Dharma Wanita jointly held a seminar on
how to cope with menopause.

Does menopause require medical intervention, or should it be
viewed as a natural passage that should run its course? Is it
the beginning of inevitable decline or the start of a great new
phase of life? Some women mourn the end of their reproductive
years even if they are long past wanting children. Others are
delighted to be free of monthly periods and the fear of unwanted
pregnancy.

According to Dr. Ali Baziad, a gynecologist at University of
Indonesian in Jakarta, menopause usually strikes women in their
late 30s to 50s. But women are often shocked when menopausal
symptoms strike in their early 40s. The average age of menopausal
women is 51, he said.

Menopause is mainly cause by the decline of estrogen and
progesterone in a woman's body. Estrogen plays a major role in
female physiology, affecting more than 300 body functions.

The decline in hormones is hardly noticeable, except in
decreased fertility, until the early 40s when women enter the
transitional period known as perimenopause. Menstruation becomes
less regular, the skin dryer, and hair becomes more brittle. Some
women feel a loss of libido and many suffer mood fluctuations.

The doctor said that as soon women enter real menopause, they
will most likely suffer from hot flashes, night sweats,
sleeplessness, irritability, mood swings, short-term memory loss,
migraines, vaginal dryness, urinary incontinence and weight gain.

Most of these symptoms can be traced to the drop-off in the
female hormones estrogen or progesterone, both of which govern
the ovarian cycle. But every woman starts with a different level
of hormones and loses them at different rates, he explained.

Many women say that menopause is just a transitional period
into second adulthood, but the menopausal experience is shaped by
a women's self esteem, physical and emotional condition as well
as culture. Every woman reacts differently.

Social worker Marina Sudirjo, 49, for instance, experienced
few symptoms when went through menopause a year ago.

"I didn't experience severe symptoms. I just realized that
my had menstruation stopped and I knew exactly what I was going
through," Marina said.

She said she had absorbed a lot of information about menopause
as she entered her 40s. In addition, she takes part in reki,
Japanese self-healing method which, she said, has contributed to
her present stable physical and mental health.

"I think women should think positive. To have a supportive
husband, children and friends is worthwhile. But the most
important point is our inner self, whether we accept or reject
it," she said.

Once a woman accepts that menopause is natural, she will most
likely have a smooth transition to a new and, hopefully,
fulfilling life, she said.