Menopause is inevitable, but life goes on

Menopause is inevitable, but life goes on

By Rita A. Widiadana

JAKARTA (JP): As a top executive, Lidya Budiman (not her real name) spends most of her days attending various business meetings.

On the eve of her 46th birthday early this month, she attended a very important meeting with her company's board of directors. During the meeting she suddenly felt heat rush to her face and she broke out in a sweat.

"I felt so embarrassed to go through menopausal symptoms in front of male colleagues, even though they probably didn't notice," she recalled.

She experienced hot flashes, headaches and back pain several times a day. At first she had no idea it was menopause, thinking her symptoms were due to her high-stress job as a director at a fast-paced corporate company. Besides, she had always thought a woman went through menopause in her late 50s.

"I was totally in denial and went into a horrible emotional and physical state for the first two months of my menopause. I didn't know how to share my feelings with others, even with my husband. But, now I find that it was just a part of being a woman," said Lydia who still maintains her heavy work schedule.

Millions of middle-aged women worldwide share Lydia's feelings when the inevitable happens.

In the past, menopause was something women themselves didn't want to discuss -- not with their husbands, mothers, daughters, doctors or their closest friends. Many women still fear that broaching the subject could affect their relationships and they prefer to think their mates do not notice what is happening. Even supportive husbands are not sure how to broach the topic.

Even women who want to know more about what is happening to their bodies hesitate to ask questions because menopause carries the unspoken social stigma: "You are getting old".

A century ago few women lived very long after their ovaries stopped functioning. Today, many women may live another 20 years after menopause and most are determined to make the best of the years.

In the West, menopause has become a hot issue. The United States government, for instance, has paid serious attention to menopause by launching a special project called Women's Health Initiative. The project focuses on various studies and research to help the rocketing number of aging female baby boomers facing menopause. In the next decade, the number of aging women in the U.S. will reach 40 million.

High-profile magazines such as Time and Newsweek have had articles on menopause as their main features. New informative books including The Silent Passage written by Gail Sheehy and New Passage by anthropologist Margaret Mead are now on the market to help women better understand various menopausal symptoms and ways to deal with them.

Embarrassing

In Indonesia, menopause is still an embarrassing subject to talk about, and information on the subject is scarce. But in the last few years people have started to discuss menopause in public.

Recently, local medical magazine Higina and the organization of civil servants' wives Dharma Wanita jointly held a seminar on how to cope with menopause.

Does menopause require medical intervention, or should it be viewed as a natural passage that should run its course? Is it the beginning of inevitable decline or the start of a great new phase of life? Some women mourn the end of their reproductive years even if they are long past wanting children. Others are delighted to be free of monthly periods and the fear of unwanted pregnancy.

According to Dr. Ali Baziad, a gynecologist at University of Indonesian in Jakarta, menopause usually strikes women in their late 30s to 50s. But women are often shocked when menopausal symptoms strike in their early 40s. The average age of menopausal women is 51, he said.

Menopause is mainly cause by the decline of estrogen and progesterone in a woman's body. Estrogen plays a major role in female physiology, affecting more than 300 body functions.

The decline in hormones is hardly noticeable, except in decreased fertility, until the early 40s when women enter the transitional period known as perimenopause. Menstruation becomes less regular, the skin dryer, and hair becomes more brittle. Some women feel a loss of libido and many suffer mood fluctuations.

The doctor said that as soon women enter real menopause, they will most likely suffer from hot flashes, night sweats, sleeplessness, irritability, mood swings, short-term memory loss, migraines, vaginal dryness, urinary incontinence and weight gain.

Most of these symptoms can be traced to the drop-off in the female hormones estrogen or progesterone, both of which govern the ovarian cycle. But every woman starts with a different level of hormones and loses them at different rates, he explained.

Many women say that menopause is just a transitional period into second adulthood, but the menopausal experience is shaped by a women's self esteem, physical and emotional condition as well as culture. Every woman reacts differently.

Social worker Marina Sudirjo, 49, for instance, experienced few symptoms when went through menopause a year ago.

"I didn't experience severe symptoms. I just realized that my had menstruation stopped and I knew exactly what I was going through," Marina said.

She said she had absorbed a lot of information about menopause as she entered her 40s. In addition, she takes part in reki, Japanese self-healing method which, she said, has contributed to her present stable physical and mental health.

"I think women should think positive. To have a supportive husband, children and friends is worthwhile. But the most important point is our inner self, whether we accept or reject it," she said.

Once a woman accepts that menopause is natural, she will most likely have a smooth transition to a new and, hopefully, fulfilling life, she said.