Lighter moments of a Balinese-Hindu wedding

Lighter moments of a Balinese-Hindu wedding

I Wayan Juniartha, The Jakarta Post, Jembrana, Bali

Dora stood majestically in the center of the merajan (family
temple). Her traditional bridal costume and her tall crown of
dozens of golden flowers shone brightly under the scorching sun.

She fixed her gaze on the largest shrine in the merajan,
trying to figure out what her bridegroom was actually doing
behind the carved structure.

A female elder, who supervised the marriage ceremony, had just
dragged Yundana, the bridegroom, into the shaded spot behind the
shrine.

There, hidden from the bride's view, the woman, whom everybody
called Mbok (older sister) Seli, was preparing Yundana for the
next phase of the marriage ceremony.

Earlier in the morning, Dora and Yundana had undergone a set
of rituals, mostly purification rites, joint prayer sessions and
Natab, drawing a spiritual blessing from various attending
deities.

It was started at around 10 a.m. when the bridegroom's
entourage picked up the bride at her house. Following a short
ceremony, a joint prayer and, most importantly, a lengthy
ritualistic repartee between the elders of the two families, the
bride was escorted to Yundana's family compound in downtown
Negara, the capital city of Bali's westernmost regency of
Jembrana.

After a brief break, the two lovers ascended the narrow
concrete stairs that took them to Yundana's merajan on the open
second floor of his house. There, they participated in another
session of joint prayers and Natab.

By that time, the searing midday heat, the heavy and stiff
bridal costumes and the tediously repetitive rituals had taken
their toll upon both Yundana and Dora. Their blank expressions,
restless gestures and sweating faces were an obvious sign that
the bride and bridegroom were tired and bored.

That was when Mbok Seli took Yundana into a hidden spot behind
the major shrine.

The dull atmosphere, however, did not last forever. A roar of
laughter filled the temple when Yundana made his appearance from
behind the shrine.

On his shoulder was a short stick of freshly-cut sugar cane. A
container made of dried coconut leaves and bamboo frames dangled
on the upper end of the sugar cane rod.

A timid man by nature, Yundana listened with a bedazzled look
on his face to detailed instructions given by Mbok Seli.
Apparently, she asked Yundana to act like a tuak vendor, a
traditional alcoholic drink of fermented palm wine.

"You walk to the center of merajan and try to sell the tuak to
Dora. You must convince Dora that your tuak is sweet, the
sweetest one around. Now, off you go and be serious," Seli
instructed.

Yundana soon found out that being serious was impossible,
particularly when he tried to sell the fake tuak -- instead of
tuak, the container actually was filled with a red-colored,
strawberry-flavored carbonated soft drink -- to a beautiful lady,
who was trying her best to suppress her laughter, right in front
of dozens of their closest relatives, who were doing everything,
from booing to clapping, to encourage them.

"Please, buy my tuak. It is sweet," Yundana whispered.

Once again everybody erupted in laughter.

The marriage ritual was suddenly transformed from a solemn,
almost mind-numbing, occasion into a comical role play.

"My poor brother, he is always the quietest man in the family
and now he has to make a public performance," Yundana's younger
sister Ayu said with a suppressed giggle.

Eventually, Dora managed to contain her laughter and agreed to
taste the sweet tuak. Indeed, she found it sweet and refreshing.
To the amazement of the riotous spectators, Dora later placed the
cup, which was made of banana leaves, to Yundana's lips.

"Now, your turn to taste this tuak. Don't worry, it's truly
sweet," she said.

The spectators clasped their hands at this display of
intimacy.

Dora ended the play acting by giving the tuak seller 200
kepeng (Chinese coins) as payment for the satisfying tuak.

A few moments later, it was Dora's turn to act as a seller.
Sitting next to the temple's outer wall, she sold tobacco, sirih
pinang (traditional chewing paste consisting of betel leaves,
areca nut, lime and gambier) and candies to Yundana. The
bridegroom accepted all that she offered, tasting their unique
and different tastes before paying the seller 200 kepeng.

"You both have paid each other 200 kepeng. From now on, there
is no outstanding debt, financial or otherwise, between you two,"
Mbok Seli stated.

Later on, she stressed that the amusing role play actually had
deep symbolic meanings. It emphasizes the bride and groom's
commitment to support and sustain each other, to start a new life
as a single entity.

"Most importantly, they have tasted various existing flavors
of life, from sweet to bitter. Now, they understand that joy and
sadness, happiness and suffering are integral parts of their
life," she said.

"All you have to do is stick together, trust each other, and
you will be able to overcome any difficulties life throws at you
in the future," she told the bride and bridegroom.

The most obvious function of the role play, however, lied in
its ability to release the anxiety, boredom and tension felt by
the bride and bridegroom.

The smiling Yundana and Dora were now prepared to undergo the
most important rite in the marriage ceremony. Known as Natab
Beduur, it involves a Hindu high priest inviting the gods,
deities and ancestral spirits to descend into the merajan to
witness the holy union of the young couple.