Life not so friendly for working mothers in Jakarta

Sari P. Setiogi, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Back in 1994, Elsa Pika Mariaty was having the time of her life, working in what she considered a perfect job -- as an executive secretary in a U.S.-based manufacturing firm here.

"Giving up my job was the last thing I ever wanted. It was not even an option," the plump, round-faced woman told The Jakarta Post.

"Friends told me I was gifted in my job. Everything was so easy for me," said Elsa, who started working at the age of 25.

Ten years later, the 36-year-old mother of two is now living a life she would have despised in her 20s. When the Post met her she was apron-clad baking cookies for her sons. Day in day out she cooks, cleans, launders and otherwise orders the lives of Daniel, four, Steven, one.

"It was back in 2001. Daniel's babysitter went home during the Idul Fitri festivities to visit her family members. My baby, who was then one year old, had his worst time during that period," Elsa recalled.

Daniel kept crying most of the day and she and husband Ilyas could not calm him down easily. "Sometimes he fell asleep after getting so tired from crying," she said.

Daniel threw away his food and did not want to touch his formula bottle. "We had to entice him with toys and movies to open his mouth (to eat)," said Elsa, taking a deep breath.

"I never really paid attention to Daniel, it was my fault. I used to let the nanny do everything. Daniel was like a stranger to me."

Middle class working parents usually hire maids and nannies to do the household chores and take care of their children.

However, during the post-fasting Idul Fitri festivities, most maids and nannies go home to family, leaving parents to deal with a messy house, dirty clothes and empty dining tables.

Often the absence of maids and nannies forces working mothers to take longer holidays and for some like Elsa it makes them decide to quit their jobs altogether.

Elsa said she used to enjoy her work a lot and had a good social life as well, often eating at fancy restaurants. "You name it," she said, laughing, picking up a Matchbox car from the floor, adding: "Ten years ago, I just kicked it instead of picking it up."

During the 2001 Idul Fitri holidays, Elsa and Ilyas made a serious decision. Elsa would quit her job to take care of little Daniel at home.

"We do not want to be total strangers to our own son. And we do not want Daniel to have psychological problems later on because he misses his babysitter. We realized that we were wrong," said Elsa, who says she now enjoys baking cookies.

It was not an easy moment for Elsa and her family. With her salary of more than Rp 5 million (US$552), Elsa and Ilyas were financially secure.

"My husband earned about the same amount. We had more than enough at that time. However, it was a different story after I quit (my job)," Elsa said.

Elsa and Ilyas started cutting their budget for going to fancy restaurants, happening cafes, buying new clothes, traveling and other luxuries they were used to.

"If a day-care center was available at that time, I might not have to quit my job. In such a center, Daniel would not rely only on one person, he would learn to make friends and meet a lot of people," Elsa said.

"A day-care center would have had professionals looking after the children. I would have felt more secure about leaving Daniel there. And I would have not missed Dan's development as they would give me day-to-day reports," she said.

"However, there were no convenient centers nearby at that time. Not even at my company although it was a U.S.-based firm, which usually is more concerned about this kind of issue," Elsa said a touch bitterly.

According to a Jakarta city bylaw No. 6/2004 all companies are required to provide day-care centers for their employees -- however, like many local regulations, the details are vague and seldom enforced.

According to State Minister for Women's Empowerment Meutia Swasono existing day-care centers in the country are able to take care of only 0.1 percent of 26.2 million children up to age six.

"We are trying to encourage companies with a lot of working- parent employees to establish day-care centers in their neighborhoods. Children are the future of the country. They need to be loved, not ignored because parents are working," Meutia said.

Elsa says, however, that she has never regretted her decision to be an at-home mother. "Now I have Steven too. I love being with Daniel and Steven. I play with them, read to them, teach them how to do things and generally make sure they get everything they can out of their childhood."

"I see a lot of working moms who seem more like observers of their children than active participants in their lives. I'm grateful that's not the case with me," she said.

Daniel runs towards his mother and asks her to give him a kiss. "I love you, Dan," said Elsa. "I love mommy too," said Daniel, hugging his mother tight before running away and bringing over his Buzz Lightyear toy.