Life goes on for HIV-infected people
Tertiani ZB Simanjuntak, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta
What would you feel the moment you were told that you had contracted HIV?
"At first, nothing. I was still on detox in a crazy camp full of mentally sick people ... and I was too stoned at that time to take it as anything more than a prank," 20-year-old Decky quipped when he recalled that moment of truth.
In November, Decky, Intan, Andre and Bayu shared with The Jakarta Post their real emotions which -- even at times still cause them pain -- and remind them that they are alive.
The good-looking Decky was only 17 at the time and still in high-school. He was an Intravenous Drug User (IDU) and used to share needles to inject putaw (low-grade heroin).
He was put in a hospital in Jakarta for detoxification and rehabilitation after he was caught red-handed while trying to rob his late father's valuables days after the funeral.
His HIV status was tested at the hospital without his consent and he was not in pre-counseling.
Decky was left alone with his feelings, shared by millions around the world who are infected with the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV).
Anger. Fear. Despair. Isolated and suicidal.
He started to take putaw again for the same reason as before: denial and self-pity. But this time with a bonus: A certain cause of death. A certain time of death.
Intan, a 30-year-old mother with a seven year-old, blamed herself for being ignorant and still cries when no one is around.
"How could I let myself be infected with the virus? It's still associated with commercial sex workers. I'm a graduate. I don't deserve this... Is it karma?" she asked in despair.
She was divorced five years ago and had occasional sex with a boyfriend who she said was a small risk for HIV or sex-related diseases. The petite woman also said she was once injected with silicone under her eyes to reshape her cheeks.
But she does not know she was infected for sure.
As for Andre, 25, he was informed he had HIV 16 months ago. Although he had often engaged in unsafe sex, he believed he was infected with the virus from sharing needles with fellow junkies.
"The result of the test came more like a death sentence," he said. He came face to face with the horror as he watched his wife slowly wither away and finally die of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) in July of last year.
Bayu, 26, is also a recovering IDU. He was in a rehabilitation center when he got the news. His mother refused to look at him and locked herself in a room for six months.
Bayu once thought of "getting even with the world", planning to pierce people at shopping malls with straight pins smeared with his blood. But his sanity prevailed.
All four HIV/AIDS victims have missed out on the prime of their lives. No matter how supportive their families have been, they were asked to keep it a secret even from members of the extended family. They also fear reactions from friends and neighbors due to the harsh stigma attached to HIV and AIDS.
They were often invited by organizations to help with advocacy and spreading information to social groups at risk, particularly young people as they are the most vulnerable. But the campaigners were reluctant to reveal their HIV status.
"I was afraid... Even when I walked in the crowd I often had this paranoid feeling of 'Oh no, they know it,' until my mother spoke out on my condition in seminars she attended," Andre said.
"That was the time I realized that I have to struggle with my emotions first before struggling against discrimination to save the lives of other youths who may fall victim to their ignorance. The virus has become a magnifying glass."
They have reason to worry. A survey conducted by the Pelita Ilmu Foundation shows that a public health center in Kampung Bali, a densely populated housing area in Central Jakarta, had detoxed 500 IDUs.
The result of HIV testing of the IDUs showed that 93 percent of them are positive.
HIV activists predicted that needle-sharing would soon surpass unsafe sex as the most common way to contract HIV in the country. Official government reports say, out of 120,000 Indonesians infected with HIV/AIDS (the actual figure is much higher according to international organizations), 43,000 of them are IDUs. Unfortunately, the official data from the Ministry of Health showed the opposite and they state that only 2,900 people were infected with HIV/AIDS collectively from 1987 to June 2002.
This Sunday, the world is commemorating World AIDS Day under the theme "Stigma and Discrimination" and the subtheme " Live and Let Live" to encourage both the community and people living with HIV/AIDS to join hands.
"I used to enjoy life. I still am now. Life is precious to me and I want to fill it with good deeds to others," Bayu said.
Believing that technology brings good things to human life, Andre hoped that a cure or vaccination for the virus could be found in the near future. "I want to live at least another 25 years," Andre said.
HIV/AIDS in Indonesia on the rise
1987: First case in the country reported on the resort island of Bali, involving a Dutch tourist.
1994: The government sets up a special National Committee on AIDS to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS related cases.
1999: According to Ministry of Health data, 526 young people below 30 have HIV/AIDS.
2000: The number of young people with HIV/AIDS increases to 709.
2001: The number of young people with HIV/AIDS increases to 1,859.
June 2002: The number of people with HIV/AIDS stood at 2,950, 52 percent of whom were young people aged 20-29 years old. WHO and the United Nations Program on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS) state that drug injection is now a major route of infection in Indonesia and affects 43,000 people out of between 124,000 and 196,000 IDUs. An estimated 9,000 women have been infected sexually by IDUs.