Kids must learn morals, etiquette at home: Expert

Kids must learn morals, etiquette at home: Expert

JAKARTA (JP): Families have the obligation to implant morality and etiquette in children because these basic values are not supposed to be taught formally at school, a respected educator said Saturday.

"The process of implanting certain values in a child, which is later expected to shape his personality, is an informal one... It can only be done through informal interaction between the child and his environment," said Father J. Drost SJ.

Drost is a prominent professor in education who teaches at the Gajah Mada University, Atmajaya University and Teachers and Education Training Institute (IKIP), all in Yogyakarta.

Speaking at a seminar on "Teaching manners and moral values to children", Drost pointed out that courses on moral values based on the state ideology Pancasila, or PMP, should only be seen as complementing the informal education.

"Parents are the first to teach a child about God, about social relations and about the responsibility towards other human beings and towards himself. Society helps the parents and school fill in what parents can't handle, which is teaching," Drost said.

He said the task of teachers can be limited to "teaching a child to study well -- including at home."

However, responsible teachers will not stop at the teaching process, he said.

"There must be room (in the process) to establish moral values, because students should go beyond merely achieving academic distinction. Schools must help students become competent, accomplished people who are aware of others peoples' rights and can become a person for other people," he said.

Shapers

Drost, who is a former principal of Gonzaga and Kanisius Senior High Schools and former rector of the IKIP Sanata Dharma in Yogyakarta, said this demanded a lot from teachers. But "this means they become not only teachers but educators and shapers (of a personality) as well."

The seminar, which was held by Bobo children's magazine, was attended by 300 people, most of whom were parents and education practitioners.

Led by psychologist Niniek L. Karim, the seminar also presented speakers Riris K. Toha-Sarumpaet from the University of Indonesia's School of Letters and Yaumil C. Agoes Achir from the Ministry of Population.

Riris, who presented a paper on "Moral messages in children's books as a means to implant moral values" defined a good children's book as a work of literature written with the consideration of children and placing them as subjects in the stories.

Citing the title of several books, Riris said that at the end of the 18th century the "dictating and preaching" attitude of children's books changed into a more lively and friendly one, "teaching" children in a way which was more enjoyable to them.

Responding to questions from a participant on the impact of television programs towards children's choice of books, Riris agreed that it was difficult to keep children away from the TV set, "and its not the TV's fault if the children opt for comic books which are shown on TV. You can't just throw out the TV."

Riris, who has children of her own, said that in cases like these she would usually make a deal with her children.

"If they buy three good, narrative books, for instance, I will buy them a comic book of their choice. They may ask for money from their aunts or uncles for additional comics but they will never get that extra money from me," she said.

This way, Riris continued, as the children grew they understood that "comics are not their class". (pwn)