JP/4/Oscar

JP/4/Oscar

Oscar Lawalata:
Feminity is strength

T. Sima Gunawan
Contributor/Jakarta

Since he was child, the boy often received admonitions from
people surrounding him, including his mother, who frowned upon
his feminity. Today, many still consider him "weird", he says.
But Oscar Lawalata believes that his feminity is his strength,
which has contributed to his success as a young fashion designer.

"They regard me as a weird person. They said: You are a man,
why are you so feminine? So beautiful? People like me, wherever
we are in this part of the world, would remain eccentric,
different, and it's hard to change it," said Oscar.

Born in Pekanbaru, Riau, in 1977, the young Oscar grew up in
Jakarta. His mother, Reggie Lawalata, a TV actress, got divorced
when he was a toddler, raising Oscar and his younger brother,
Mario, as a single mother with little money.

Oscar went to the Esmod Fashion School here but dropped out in
1998 in the economic crisis and chose to start his own fashion
business. Winning second place in the ASEAN young designers'
contest in Singapore in 1999, his designs also won people's
hearts and his career continues to improve. His customers include
top singers Kris Dayanti, Titik DJ and Chrisye and his designs
normally debut to packed audiences, most recently a show in Kuala
Lumpur.

The long-haired man who recently made his debut as an actor in
the popular film Banyu Biru says he likes to feature ethnic
designs in his creations.

During the interview at his workshop in Kebayoran Baru, South
Jakarta, Oscar talked about his career and his life.

Question: You look quite busy these days. What are you doing?

Answer: I am working on Barbie children's wear, as well as
several uniform projects for some companies, including a hotel
and an airline. The clothes for children will be launched on the
26th of this month.

We have several lines right now, ethnic-themed clothes with
the label of Oscar Lawalata, evening gowns with the label of
Oscar Couture and Oscar Oscar for young people.

Why don't you focus on just one line?

If we can do five, why should we do just one? What should I do
with the energy that could be used to do the others? As an
idealist, I prefer those with the touch of culture, but the
reality is different. Indonesian people prefer something which is
glamorous; the elite circle prefers Western things, so I have to
adjust to the tastes of the market. That's why I have several
lines. So, besides being idealist, I also sell my services,
translating the wishes of the people into making my clothes. To
serve companies, I have to understand their brand image, the
target, the customers; who they are, and on what level -- whether
they are trendy. For me, this is a different challenge, and why
not?

Why did you get interested in fashion in the first place?

I am interested in the arts. Graduating from high school in
1996, I wanted to study fine art, but I didn't know what to study
-- painting, sculpture, interior design, photography or fashion.
I enrolled at the Bandung Institute of Technology but was not
accepted. I wanted to study abroad but my mother didn't have
enough money so I ended up studying at Esmod. I took a three-year
program, but after a year and a-half, during the economic crisis,
I quit because my mother could not afford the school fees and the
school turned down my request for a scholarship. After I quit, I
opened my own boutique.

After eight years in the business, what have you learned?

Frankly speaking, it was beyond my imagination. I thought, as
a designer, after making the design, buying the material and
having it sewn, the work was over. But the burden is not in that
(process); a designer should be good at management. I also have
to be directly involved in the marketing, in the finance, all of
these calculation systems which I had never thought of before.

Every designer has his or her special characteristics. What
about you?

I prefer (designs) with cultural themes, especially Asian
ones. I like to explore this, the Indonesian culture, our own
cultural potency.

When you were a child, what did you want to become?

Many children wanted to become a pilots or doctors, but I
wanted to become a farmer, something which was simple, which was
close to nature, with not-so-high technology, which was more
human, more down-to-earth.

Do you still want to be a farmer?

No, but in my old days, I liked to live in such an environment
which was quiet and had a familial atmosphere.

What do you foresee yourself doing say in 20 or 30 years from
now?

After working for years, and interacting with the workers, I
find that making clothes, especially handmade ones, needs
togetherness, there is the one who sews, the one who makes the
embroidery, the one who beads, there is emotion in the clothes,
they have a soul.

This is different from those you buy at a department store,
the ready-to-wear kind. What I mean is I still want to be able to
work with them, to provide jobs for many people. That's what I
want, not something more about myself like getting married or
having a spouse who is like this or like that. I want to
contribute more to society, to inspire people.

Talking about marriage and spouse, has anyone asked you to get
married?

Not really. For me, a spouse would be like a bonus (he laughs)
in the sense that actually we live by ourselves. If we have a
spouse, we should not be egotistical. First, we should love
ourselves, we should know ourselves, our talents, all about us.
After we know what kind of a person we are, then we can
collaborate with other people. Otherwise, we will have a big
headache, and get tired. If there is someone who wants to be
close to me, I want to make friends first, not a serious
relationship. I want to concentrate more on myself and on my
work. After being friends for 10 or 20 years, if we get along
well, let's go ahead.

People might wonder who would be your best spouse, a man or a
woman?

A: I don't want to say that I am gay. Why not? It's not
because I am ashamed or a hypocrite. Why should I be ashamed?
Even when I walk down the street, people always look at me.
People like me might be different. Other people declare that they
are gay, but not me. I am still keeping my mind open, and I don't
want to say that I am heterosexual either. In building a
relationship, we talk about something personal, not about a man
or a woman. If I get along with a woman, why not? But if I get
along more with a man, then again, why not? It's we who live our
lives, not other people. They only talk about us, but we live our
lives from the time we open our eyes until we go to bed.

Many people must frown upon your ideas, your way of life. Have
you ever experienced discrimination or rejection

I have been regarded as a weird person. Since I was a kid, I
have been treated like that by people in my environment, my
family. They said: You are a man, why are you so feminine? So
beautiful? They look down at me but they have never confronted
me. And I think this is just normal because people like me,
wherever we are in this part of the world, we will remain
eccentric, different, and it's hard to change it.

Are you depressed?

No, because I know myself, I am honest with myself, and I know
what I want.

How about your Mom?

People say Oscar should be thankful to have a mother like her.
I am thankful because my Mom is open minded, but things are not
that easy. Well, she was like other mothers ... When I was in
high school, she often told me to walk more firmly, to join a
karate class, to have hormone injections. I was sometimes hurt.
For instance, at a wedding reception, Mom would introduce my
brother to her friends, but ignored me, unless they were aware of
my presence.

As time passed, I told myself, this is my own life, I didn't
ask to be born, I didn't blame Mom, this is my life, I am like
this, so like it or not I should live my life, and I was ready to
risk any consequence if Mom rejected me; I was ready to fight. If
I wanted to find fault, I could blame my parents, but I didn't.
This was the reality, and I was ready if Mom drove me out of the
house or disowned me.

It seems that you are quite strong.

I am quite close with God. This doesn't mean that every Sunday
I go to the church, but it is deep in my heart.

It was reported that you did quite well at school and always
were a top-ten student?

Well, I guess I didn't do badly. I could easily comprehend
what the teacher said.

Was it true that you fought with your teachers several times?

Mom told me, "If you are right, fight for it, but if you are
wrong, apologize." Whoever the person is, including my teachers,
if they kept on harassing me, I would fight them.

So, being feminine does not mean that you are weak.

No, people regard feminity as something abnormal, a defect.
But if we are willing to explore it, it is actually a gift, like
a sixth sense, you can see what other people can't. (Feminine
people) have different minds, different feelings, different body
language. This should be regarded as strength, because we can
feel both the masculine and feminine sides while other people
can't. A woman can only think as a woman, and a man will never be
able to feel the way a woman feels, no matter how hard he tries.
But people like us can think and feel both in the men's and
women's world.

Have you ever felt like a woman trapped in a man's body?

No, the way I see it: I am half man, half woman. Not a man
with a soul of a woman.

Have you ever got any idea about having a sex-change
operation?

No. I don't want to dress as a woman. Well I want to be
beautiful, but I don't want to wear a dress, a wig, earrings, I
like wearing pants like a man and a blouse for the top. I wear
eye liner, but I am still a man. There is no way you would see me
in a dress and it is impossible for me to wear a suit with a tie,
either.

You are indeed beautiful. What beauty treatments do you use?

I don't have any special body treatment, but I pay a lot of
attention to my hair. I often blow dry my hair, which is
originally curly. I don't like dieting and it happens that my
body metabolism is quite good. To maintain the freshness of the
skin of my face, I drink a lot of water after I get up and before
going to bed. And it is also necessary to have a peaceful mind.
Otherwise, you will have acne on the face. I also like
meditation, it's a good way to ease your mind.

What things disturb your mind a lot?

I find it hard to manage (the business) because I am not a
businessman. I am an artist who runs his own business, so like it
or not I have to manage it.

What inspires your work?

I get ideas from a lot of things, not just from a single thing
like a painting or a certain era. This has much to do with the
development of this modern age, with films, with music, with the
characters of people, with their thinking patterns. All this
blends into one thing.

Where do you get the material for your clothes?

Some material is bought here, but sometimes I buy it in India,
China or Thailand.

What do you think of today's trends?

In the 2000s, the trend has become more personal, you can't
say that it is gypsy, futuristic, ethnic. In the 1970s, everyone
wore bell-bottom pants, but now, there is so many kinds, some are
short, some long, some have holes, some tight, some loose, and
all are good. People now are more individual, more independent;
they have more guts about the way they dress. This is good for
the fashion world even though (too much) individualism is not
really good for society.

You use animal furs and leather in some of your collections.
What would you do if animal rights activists protested you?

When I bought it, the animal was already dead. But if there
was a protest, of course, I would think twice.

What's the most important thing in your life?

To explore my self, to get our powers, people can feel our
presence and we can help them.

What's the hardest thing in your life?

Actually my life is hard, but I make it easier with positive
thinking. If we accept ourselves, explore our potency, we will
find it easier to accept difficult realities. I am quite thankful
that I started from zero, that my family was poor. Mom, as a
single parent, scratched out a living. She used to sell gado-gado
and cendol at a stall. When I was a kid, I went to school by bus
and when I saw my friends buying ketoprak (traditional food) at
school, I often drooled because I couldn't afford it.

I have been through all of those difficult times, so I never
worry about what to do if I go bankrupt.

The writer can be contacted at tabita@cbn.net.id