Jakarta's big screens: Tough choice

Jakarta's big screens: Tough choice

Rough data presented in Janji Joni: An Indonesian Adventure -- a movie written and directed by The Jakarta Post's very own film critic, Joko Anwar -- claims that seven out of 10 people on the streets will say that they are into movies.

We can be sure that a big chunk of this group can be found in theaters. And, most likely, even a bigger chunk hovering around pirated DVD vendors.

While the owner of the 21 Cineplex chain -- not a monopoly, really, because the company merely owns roughly 90 percent of all existing movie theaters here -- complains that "buying pirated DVDs is stealing", consumers have no place that will accommodate their complaints.

I was about to watch the epic bloodbath Alexander at Studio XXI in Entertainment Xenter -- one of the most expensive theaters in Jakarta -- when I noticed that one of the security guards -- well-trained club bouncers, I always call them -- stopped an old lady in a wheel chair at the studio door.

The reason was very dire: The old lady had a shopping bag full of bread from a nearby bakery.

"Thou shalt not bring food or drinks from outside this cineplex" -- that's the law.

The old lady, lacking the energy to fight over her precious bread, gave up and let the bouncer take them to a deposit counter.

Discipline? As I was watching ugly Colin Farrell butchering and slaying his enemies, I heard children crying in the seats to the rear. Whatever happened to age restrictions?

Whatever happened to the other law -- "Thou shalt not be noisy while the movie is playing"?

Of course, no bouncers were around to slap and throw out the idiotic father who took his 5-year-old to watch this brutal (and bad) movie. We can be sure these unfriendly big guys were busy looking for bread and drinks from outside.

As an adult consumer, I would love to complain in a decent way. I looked for a suggestion box in this so-called glamorous theater lobby -- you know, the kind of box that will accept our comments, ideas and suggestions, and which can usually be found in every other place.

Did they have any? Not a one.

I did try to locate a feedback link on their website, but all I found was just a list of movie screening times -- and without any viewer ratings or warnings as to age restrictions.

(I am sure we can bring toddlers to that so-called luxurious and prestigious cineplex to watch Will Smith cursing, swearing and slaying villains in Bad Boys II -- as long as we pay Rp 60,000 for a single ticket.)

I kept my peace until another issue arose.

I was watching Kingdom of Heaven at another cineplex -- Djakarta 21 Theater, where tickets are half the price of the one above. The promised Dolby Sound System went flat in the middle of a battle scene, and the audience started to grumble. I looked for any bouncer in the house. None.

Feeling all-heroic, I went out to tell the staff, technicians, bouncers or whoever they might have, about this annoying incident. I asked that they check out the sound system. Without checking, the man in the uniform looked me in the eye and delivered straight information: "It's the reel. We can't do anything about it."

I asked him to just go and check it out.

"No, it's the reel. Just go back and watch, or leave if you don't like the situation. We will give you back your money."

Now, I'm starting to think I should spend my precious money on those pirated DVDs on the street. I know I'll deal with bad- quality discs, but it's better than dealing with poor-quality human resources who lack both proper attitude and brain cells.

Other complaints from reliable consumers include movies that start too early because the staff want to go home early, and -- one of the most unforgettable cases -- security officers that sell tickets to Ada Apa dengan Cinta? to calo, or ticket hawkers, for them to sell at double the original price. Oh yeah, this happens at Megaria 21 in Jakarta.

Of course, we movie buffs -- apparently 70 percent of the people on the capital's streets -- are happy to watch summer blockbusters on the nearest big screen. We love movies -- movies that, as the trailers note: "coming soon to your beloved theaters".

Beloved theaters? Let me know if you find one.

In the meantime, let me know which one has the best deal: Mangga Dua or Ratu Plaza?

-- Ve Handojo