Jakarta's big screens: Tough choice

Jakarta's big screens: Tough choice

Rough data presented in Janji Joni: An Indonesian Adventure --
a movie written and directed by The Jakarta Post's very own film
critic, Joko Anwar -- claims that seven out of 10 people on the
streets will say that they are into movies.

We can be sure that a big chunk of this group can be found in
theaters. And, most likely, even a bigger chunk hovering around
pirated DVD vendors.

While the owner of the 21 Cineplex chain -- not a monopoly,
really, because the company merely owns roughly 90 percent of all
existing movie theaters here -- complains that "buying pirated
DVDs is stealing", consumers have no place that will accommodate
their complaints.

I was about to watch the epic bloodbath Alexander at Studio
XXI in Entertainment Xenter -- one of the most expensive theaters
in Jakarta -- when I noticed that one of the security guards --
well-trained club bouncers, I always call them -- stopped an old
lady in a wheel chair at the studio door.

The reason was very dire: The old lady had a shopping bag full
of bread from a nearby bakery.

"Thou shalt not bring food or drinks from outside this
cineplex" -- that's the law.

The old lady, lacking the energy to fight over her precious
bread, gave up and let the bouncer take them to a deposit
counter.

Discipline? As I was watching ugly Colin Farrell butchering
and slaying his enemies, I heard children crying in the seats to
the rear. Whatever happened to age restrictions?

Whatever happened to the other law -- "Thou shalt not be noisy
while the movie is playing"?

Of course, no bouncers were around to slap and throw out the
idiotic father who took his 5-year-old to watch this brutal (and
bad) movie. We can be sure these unfriendly big guys were busy
looking for bread and drinks from outside.

As an adult consumer, I would love to complain in a decent
way. I looked for a suggestion box in this so-called glamorous
theater lobby -- you know, the kind of box that will accept our
comments, ideas and suggestions, and which can usually be found
in every other place.

Did they have any? Not a one.

I did try to locate a feedback link on their website, but all
I found was just a list of movie screening times -- and without
any viewer ratings or warnings as to age restrictions.

(I am sure we can bring toddlers to that so-called luxurious
and prestigious cineplex to watch Will Smith cursing, swearing
and slaying villains in Bad Boys II -- as long as we pay Rp
60,000 for a single ticket.)

I kept my peace until another issue arose.

I was watching Kingdom of Heaven at another cineplex --
Djakarta 21 Theater, where tickets are half the price of the one
above. The promised Dolby Sound System went flat in the middle of
a battle scene, and the audience started to grumble. I looked for
any bouncer in the house. None.

Feeling all-heroic, I went out to tell the staff, technicians,
bouncers or whoever they might have, about this annoying
incident. I asked that they check out the sound system. Without
checking, the man in the uniform looked me in the eye and
delivered straight information: "It's the reel. We can't do
anything about it."

I asked him to just go and check it out.

"No, it's the reel. Just go back and watch, or leave if you
don't like the situation. We will give you back your money."

Now, I'm starting to think I should spend my precious money on
those pirated DVDs on the street. I know I'll deal with bad-
quality discs, but it's better than dealing with poor-quality
human resources who lack both proper attitude and brain cells.

Other complaints from reliable consumers include movies that
start too early because the staff want to go home early, and --
one of the most unforgettable cases -- security officers that
sell tickets to Ada Apa dengan Cinta? to calo, or ticket hawkers,
for them to sell at double the original price. Oh yeah, this
happens at Megaria 21 in Jakarta.

Of course, we movie buffs -- apparently 70 percent of the
people on the capital's streets -- are happy to watch summer
blockbusters on the nearest big screen. We love movies -- movies
that, as the trailers note: "coming soon to your beloved
theaters".

Beloved theaters? Let me know if you find one.

In the meantime, let me know which one has the best deal:
Mangga Dua or Ratu Plaza?

-- Ve Handojo