It's our traditional courteousness
On the second day of a Language Seminar held by Lembaga Bahasa of American Indonesian Institution (LIA), from July 1 through July 3, I joined a presentation conducted by Mr. Paul Hudson cs., titled East vs West: Cross-cultural communication and examination of cultural differences for the purpose of enhancing EFL education.
Basically, this topic is not something new being discussed within the LIA educational service circle. Its predecessors used to discuss this subject, i.e. the cultural differences between East and West in a more humorous way, rather than inflicting prejudice. As an example, one advisor wrote in the LIA internal Contact periodical: "The Americans eat pizza using their fingers, while the Indonesians eat pizza using a fork and knife. On the other hand, the Americans eat rice with a fork while the Indonesians eat rice using their fingers". Another advisor talked about how funny it was for him to find a way out of a miscommunication problem between him and his local wife.
The main point of Mr. Hudson's presentation was about an Indonesian addressing an American with "Hello, Mister, I want to practice my English with you", which, for him, aroused astonishment. Further in conversation sentences, "Are you married?" or "Do you have children?" to the best of my memory, according to him, implicitly meant "You are too old to get married" (or, Why aren't you married yet?) and "You should have already had children", which is something unpleasant, worse annoying.
Referring to the video program in an LIA class titled Living and working in America, there is an episode showing a conversation between two employees, i.e. "Are you married?" without any pretense. Hence the ending goes smoothly following the context. Is there any difference between an Indonesian and an American that the question "Are you married" triggers prejudice?
If Mr. Hudson's presentation were sophistically packed following his predecessors' style, to be presented to the Indonesian audience, it probably might not have aroused a kind of strange feeling of what he was up to. But his reciting "unpleasantness" or "not to talk to strangers" incites uneasiness.
Last but not least, Mr. Paul Hudson is our guest. It is our moral duty to make him feel safe and secure in our country without him having to teach us how to behave toward his American colleagues. To my fellow Indonesian countrymen, please do treat our guests politely as wished by them owing to our ancestor's traditional courteousness.
RH USMAN
Jakarta