Indonesia's infrastructure drive hits potholes
Dear sir,
How dare you imply that Indonesian infrastructure is anything less than world class?
Potholes? Our “random traffic calmers” successfully keep speeding motorists from driving at high speed on our roads, and presenting a danger to pedestrians out enjoying the breathtaking views of our city.
Power cuts? Our new “greenhouse gas emission” reduction strategy successfully meets our Kyoto protocol requirements, Under the new power management controls greenhouse gasses have been reduced by up to 50%. Mention should also be made of the numerus lives saved during these periods of disconnection. Electricity is a dangerous thing, and the more we learn to live without it the better for our citizens.
Telephone problems? We remain firmly committed to the “integrated family network” ideals, and refuse to allow Indonesia to slide down the same path of many of our Asian neighbours. We believe that our families should enjoy regular tactile contact, and not rely upon the telephone or SMS messaging. Why talk on the telephone when you can sit around the Kampung fire and chat?
Groaning railways? We are very proud of our mass transportation system, which is one of the few in the world to feature fully ventilated upper decks. Our introduction of the new cheaper “away day side hanger” class has been enormously popular, although ticket collection remains problematical at this time. There are also some current problems with passengers alighting whist the train is in motion. This is strictly against the rules, and will not be tolerated.
Finally, we take great offence at your suggestion that the toll road linking Jakarta to Bandung has subsided. Our new tunnelling operations are well underway, and by 2020 we expect the entire highway to be completely underground.
Yours truly,
XXXXXXXX
How dare you imply that Indonesian infrastructure is anything less than world class?
Potholes? Our “random traffic calmers” successfully keep speeding motorists from driving at high speed on our roads, and presenting a danger to pedestrians out enjoying the breathtaking views of our city.
Power cuts? Our new “greenhouse gas emission” reduction strategy successfully meets our Kyoto protocol requirements, Under the new power management controls greenhouse gasses have been reduced by up to 50%. Mention should also be made of the numerus lives saved during these periods of disconnection. Electricity is a dangerous thing, and the more we learn to live without it the better for our citizens.
Telephone problems? We remain firmly committed to the “integrated family network” ideals, and refuse to allow Indonesia to slide down the same path of many of our Asian neighbours. We believe that our families should enjoy regular tactile contact, and not rely upon the telephone or SMS messaging. Why talk on the telephone when you can sit around the Kampung fire and chat?
Groaning railways? We are very proud of our mass transportation system, which is one of the few in the world to feature fully ventilated upper decks. Our introduction of the new cheaper “away day side hanger” class has been enormously popular, although ticket collection remains problematical at this time. There are also some current problems with passengers alighting whist the train is in motion. This is strictly against the rules, and will not be tolerated.
Finally, we take great offence at your suggestion that the toll road linking Jakarta to Bandung has subsided. Our new tunnelling operations are well underway, and by 2020 we expect the entire highway to be completely underground.
Yours truly,
XXXXXXXX