'I find it difficult to remember names'

'I find it difficult to remember names'

Sociologist Imam Budidarmawan Prasodjo is not only popular
among his students at the University of Indonesia (UI). He is
also well-known among refugees in the Maluku islands and Aceh
province since his foundation, Nurani Dunia, regularly delivers
aid to the strife-torn provinces. The 40-year-old husband of
Gitayana and father of Rauf and Adilla got his masters degree at
Kansas State University and earned his doctorate in urban studies
from Brown University, Providence, Rhode Island. He talked about
matters close to his life to The Jakarta Post's Emmy Fitri
Hastuti on Thursday.

Q: What would you be doing right now if you had the choice?

A: I would like to be together with my family, fishing, camping
or just traveling to places which have rich historical values.
Since my children have their own activities in and outside of
school we now have to sit together and discuss our vacation
plans.

In most families, a father will decide which destination. But
not here. My children will discuss and decide. They have to be
able to argue, providing reasons why we should take certain
destinations.

Q: What characteristics do you like about yourself?

A: I am an extrovert, not the kind of person who hides or
represses his feeling or ideas. I always feel free to talk to
anyone about anything, from generals to laymen. I always treat
people equally and do not bow to their social status or rank. I
inherited these characteristics from my father.

I can't stand if I am not allowed to talk, to speak and to
share ideas with others.

In my house, my housemaid sometimes yell at me. I am an
egalitarian guy. I think I also have good sense of humor since I
don't like to be in tense and stiff situations.

Q: And dislike?

A: I am not really organized. I receive packages of newly
published books once a month from Ohio. They are all in a mess up
because I just leave them (after reading them) somewhere in the
house. But my wife is a great help. She arranges the books that I
have read. Another thing is, I also find it difficult to remember
people's names.

Q: What makes you cry?

A: I cry mostly about matters that really touch me, which
have something to do with me or my past. What I'm crying about is
the accumulation of my past. My parents met in a refugee camp
before they got married. They worked hard to raise their
children. My parents died when I am already settled. My mother
passed away when picking me up at the airport on my return from
the United States. She died of a stroke. My father passed away
two years later. When visiting the refugee camps in the Maluku
islands, I also cried and was angry at the same time.

Q: What would you like to change about your appearance?

A: No. I am just completing a diet program but this is for health
reasons.

Q: Who do you think influences your life?

A: That is a question I can never answer. It is a long journey in
life that I have been through, in which many people around me
have contributed a lot to make me what I am. Of course my parents
played a major role but I also appreciate anyone and anything
from my environment and village in Banjarnegara (a town in
Central Java) for its influence over me.

Q: What do you like to wear?

A: Most of my shirts have striped motifs. It looks like I wear
the same shirt from one seminar to another. But it is my habit.
If I like a shirt then I will wear it every time I have to dress
up.

Q: What is the last book you read?

A: I can't remember the title. It is about humanitarian missions
and ethnic conflicts, a really good book. I also rarely read a
whole book from cover to cover like a novel. At the moment, I
like reading books on ethnic conflicts and humanitarian missions.
But I also read a lot of books on children issues like The
Vulnerable Child, because I chair the Parents Association in my
children's school, Al-Azhar.

Q: What is the last movie you watched?

A: An Iranian film, Children of Heaven. I watched that with my
wife and children. We plan to see Tom Hank's Cast Away this
weekend.

Q: What are your favorite movies?

A: Ones with a particular theme. I like films like Life is
Beautiful, American's classical films, John F. Kennedy, and
serial film Roots, a colossal and historical movie.

Q: What are your favorite songs?

A: I become my children's laughing stock if I start singing my
favorite songs. They say I am an old-fashioned. I like oldies.
For me they represent different memories, just like Killing Me
Softly. When I was still a kid, I remembered my brother, who
shared a room with me, listening to that song when he was feeling
sad after failing to enter state university. I was also sad
because I didn't know what to do to ease his sadness.

Q: What do you always carry with you?

A: My cellular phone, a palm top computer, a pen and my notebook.
I still have to bring a notebook because sometimes, it is too
complicated to operate the palm top. I need that notebook to jot
down any ideas that pop up for my talkshows or seminars.

Q: What three things would you like to have with you if you were
on a desert island?

A: First, of course, communication tools that would reduce the
feeling of isolation, but this depends on how remote the island's
situation is. Then, survival equipment of any kind, probably a
knife, matches, jacket and a tent for shelter. And a set of
stationery for making a record of the experience.

Q: What are your favorite foods?

A: I like Bakso (meatballs) even if I know there is too much MSG
(monosodium glutamate) in it. Sushi, Peyek (Javanese crackers),
Sumedang tofu and many more I think.

Q: How do you want to be remembered?

A: For my family and my friends, I want to be remembered as a
person who is always warm and easy to talk to.... Just remember
me as a simple and ordinary guy that people can easily access.