Hurrah for the salesmen

Hurrah for the salesmen

JAKARTA (JP): Parties are usually laid back, where liquor and gossip flow freely. Somehow, this party was stuck.

Luckily, Samur, the spark, joined us at this point.

"Oh, It is about salesmen, is it?"

Samur was an old saw, the "Don't ask, he will tell" type. He did not wait for an answer.

"Well," he continued, "I came across a very interesting salesman. He was dynamic; rather surprisingly smart without alienating."

"Get to the point, Samur," said a grouch.

His recent encounter with a salesman was in connection with buying a vehicle, a current model. After the usual haggling a deal was clinched.

"It will be delivered from the showroom, sir" said the salesman in his trumpet voice.

The next day he arrived with the vehicle. It was a grime ball, a dead beat. "I was suddenly skeptical of his words and ways," said Samur.

But the salesman was up beat and rose to the occasion.

"Don't you see the red license plate, Sir? That means the car is new."

With a forced indulgence I asked, "When was it new?"

Unfazed, the salesman went on. "You would be shocked, sir, if I told you how careless they are in the showroom."

My wife was impressed with the word showroom from the very beginning. It was not every day one got a car from the showroom. So, the unbridled-half pitched in, "The red plate will make everyone think it is a new car. Must you be insufferably nit- picky?"

"Yes Samur, your wife is right." said Salim. You will not get a new car for the same price. It is top salesmanship to give you a used car and still make others think you have a new car.

And Salim went on to narrate what a neighbor in his country had told him.

His neighbor was very troubled by bedbugs. He tried many remedies, even expensive insecticides. He was desperate for a cure and so were many others. There was a clear bedbug- eradication-market. One day a salesman appeared canvassing orders for a very special product, a permanent cure for bedbugs.

When anyone asked to have a look at the remedy or see a demonstration the salesman would reply, "Oh no. The inventor has to jealously guard the cure because, though it is patented, it is easy to copy. So, sales before the product launch are crucial."

"What guarantee do you give?" a reluctant buyer queried.

"Simple. It is so cheap that you will think it is worth a try," he replied disarmingly.

Lulled, everybody thought that there was nothing much to lose anyway. "The product got the benefit of doubt," Salim added dramatically.

So, the salesman collected heaps of orders and, as he had promised, the parcel was duly home delivered. The delivery boy was practically hugged. They had waited a long time to get even with the bedbugs.

Eager hands tore open the parcel to find two smooth stones nestled inside a bed of straw. The instructions read: "Take a bug, place it on one stone, and quickly smash it with the other. Don't allow it to escape, it will warn others."

The postscript warned: "As there are no chemicals involved, the bedbugs won't acquire any immunity against this decimation."

Their embarrassment quickly passed and everyone laughed. Who would not admire enterprise, especially one that bordered on rascality?

-- G.S. Edwin