Here 'prosciutto' means salami

Here 'prosciutto' means salami

JAKARTA (JP): Guess what? I went to Pondok Indah Mall for the
first time ever. Me, who's been giving you the impression that
all I do is jaunt around this fair capital.

But it's true, I've never ever been to the mall because I
would have to travel through kilometers of Jakarta's beastly
traffic, and mammoth malls leave me... well... "cold" isn't
exactly the word, but its close.

I place convenience far above fads and fashion (some of my
dearest friends call it laziness) so I go to malls that are
located on the route I travel most; between home and work. I go
to shop, not to see and be seen, so visits are strictly according
to need. Anyway, one shopping mall is exactly like another -- be
it in Singapore, Indianapolis, Dusseldorf, Jakarta, Jeddah or
Dunedin.

Actually, had it not been for an American pal of mine, I would
never have gone to PIM. You see, my pal had just arrived from the
wintry climes in America's northwest and needed some wearables
suitable for the tropics. He is structured along rather generous
lines and everywhere we went, we couldn't find anything in his
size. That's how we eventually landed in PIM.

It was on the Saturday following Lebaran and the place was
busting at the seams with every specimen of human, especially
harried-looking moms and dads with their entire brood in tow.
Harried-looking because their staff hadn't returned from their
respective villages, so there wasn't anyone at home to keep the
kitchen fires burning.

I'm sure the likes of poulet frite a la Kentucky and la vera
pizza di Pizzahut would have done a roaring trade, what with
those products being regarded as the epitome of western cuisine
by middle and upper class Jakartans. The holidays -- that's the
reason why PIM seemed on the point of getting indigestion from
all those people it had gorged on. I was told, though, that the
place can get just as full during ordinary days, and mostly with
non-shoppers.

Shopping malls have entertainment value as well, especially
for ngeceng -- that's Jakarta teenage jargon for "to see and be
seen". There were millions of them around the place. So the pal
didn't get anywhere in the hunt for his XXX-size (Caucasian XXX,
that is). What I found, though, were some English-made socks
which I'd been searching for, so I stocked up on them. That was
only part of my luck. The rest came when we went into Hero
supermarket for some daily necessities, like milk and bread.

As I wandered passed the meat counter, I took a double take
when I saw Italian salami advertised at Rp 4,000-and-a-bit per
hundred gram. But that's not why "mah eyes lit up an' mah heart
went bang" (thank you, Guy Mitchell).

You see, the little name-cum-price tag was stuck on a chunk of
prosciutto, the kind of ham Italians make and which I could eat
till kingdom come. Well, I've never come across prosciutto priced
that cheap -- Rp 4,000 a slice would be more like it -- and it
was real, too, because besides some words in Italian, the label
also showed the red-white-green of that country's flag.

I quickly flashed the man behind the counter my most charming
smile: minta salami dua ons, pak (could I have 200 grams of
salami, mister). Not my fault -- is it? -- if some idiot stuck
the wrong tag on the stuff. Either that, or the Hero people don't
know the difference between salami and prosciutto. Shame on you,
Jak! Ashamed? Of course I was. I cried the entire time I stuffed
my face with prosciutto and melon. Mmmm.

-- Jak Jaunt