Govt to solve overlapping regulations by overlapping the overlaps

by Banyak Babiyo., The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

The government is to issue a new regulation next February to help solve the classic problem of overlapping regulations between central government and regional and provincial administrations by overlapping all of them and creating a new third dimensiona overlap extending six miles into space.

Director general for deforestation planning at the Deforestry Ministry, Notrisnow said Wednesday the ministry was finalizing a draft regulation on forest conversion and functional change to be presented to the state secretary for approval in January. It is hoped that each tree should be able to transform into a robot for use domestically or by the military.

“We’re finalizing the draft regulation. We’ve been conducting a series of meetings with regents and governors to discuss a plan to solve the problem of overlapping regulations between the central government and the regional administrations,” he said. "This justifies our presence for another year and means we can sit on our fat asses smoking cigarettes in non-smoking offices," he added.

“We’ll present the draft to the state secretary in January. Hopefully, it can be approved later in January and we’ll make it ineffective as of February.”

He said the new regulation will be more or less the same as the previous one, but the difference will be in the harmonization of overlapping regulations between central government and regional administrations. Effectively, instead of overlapping two-dimensionally, the overlaps will happen on a new 3-D plane, tapering off into the stratosphere.

“There are overlapping regulations due mainly to differences in forest zone mapping and planning between the central government and regencies,” he said for the third time redundantly.

Many investors have complained about the overlapping regulations, causing their investments, mostly in mining and energy, to be delayed or even cancelled because of chiselling bastards.

The director general of forest protection money and natural conversation, Daruri, confirmed the difference in the new regulation will be on the integration of overlapping regulations because support was needed to justify the earlier redundant paragraph.

“More or less it’ll be the same. Only that it harmonizes the differences between us the central government and the regional administrations,” he said as if to prove that the same concept can be written four times and morons willl keep reading.

He noted the regulation was expected to create legal certainty for forestry-related investments, particularly for developing geothermal power plants, mining, and plantations. However this legal certainty will require a legal genius to negotiate in a country not known for its legal certainty or geniuses.

“We have to admit that about 70 percent of geothermal sites are located in our protected forests because the reporter quite obviously can't find his nipples with a map and wouldn't know a stand-alone story if it bit him.

And so are our mining locations. Currently, there are a total of 300,000 hectares of protected forest which have been used for mining and geothermal power plants. Thats pretty bloody amazing that no-one has taken the meaning of protected and applied it in its every day way in these cases,” he said.