From the Little Aresha Case, Mothers Who Entrust Children to Unworthy Daycares Should Not Be Blamed

The case of child abuse at Little Aresha daycare in Yogyakarta has triggered widespread concern. However, amid public attention, a wave of comments has emerged that corner mothers, particularly those who entrust their children to daycares. Yet, behind this incident, mothers are also parties who are psychologically impacted. Psychologist Vera Itabiliana Hadiwidjojo explains that mothers can experience complex emotional reactions after learning their child has suffered mistreatment. “Mothers can experience shock, deep sadness, anger, anxiety, and guilt. Mothers can also lose their sense of safety and trust, because a place that should be trusted instead harms the child,” she said when contacted by Kompas.com on Tuesday (28/4/2026). One of the most common responses is self-blame. Many mothers feel as if they have failed in their role as protectors of their children. According to Vera, this is related to the basic instincts of parents. “Instinctively, parents feel responsible for protecting their child. When the child is hurt, mothers often feel they have failed, even though the perpetrator is entirely the party committing the violence,” she explained. In traumatic situations, individuals also tend to seek explanations and control. This process often traps mothers in a pattern of self-blame thinking. Comments questioning the decision to entrust children to daycares not infrequently reinforce the existing guilt. “Negative comments can have a significant impact, especially when mothers are in a vulnerable condition. This can trigger anxiety, shame the victim, and even cause mothers to withdraw from their social environment,” said Vera. She added that this pressure has the potential to become secondary trauma after the main incident.