Farah tests the fashion waters on a trip home

Hera Diani, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

Designer Farah Angsana sat elegantly behind a desk in the study of the Grand Hyatt's penthouse, where she had a trunk sale recently.

She admitted she was emotionally and physically exhausted.

"I've been traveling so much. I have so many plans in my mind about my business. Unfortunately, I don't have many people around me to tell about how the future of my business is going to be," she said in a guarded tone.

"But as long as I'm strong enough, conscious enough, wise enough...everybody can achieve their dreams, plan or business strategy."

Her focus on herself, the sometimes affected tone and her insistence on using only English could have made Indonesian-born Farah an easy target for judgmental us.

But it took only a moment to discover that she was exactly what she claimed to be, a "strong, funny and friendly" person.

"Everybody has their character. I love people around me, but that's my problem, too. Sometimes I bump into the wrong people who just want to look into me, not just because of me. Especially here."

Next thing we knew, she was sitting with us, explaining each piece and detail of her collection -- the inspiration, the details -- among the wealthy customers sitting around us.

"I'm not a show producer, I don't need to do a big show with all the prestige and thousands of watts to make clothes look beautiful, but unwearable," she said about her decision not to put on a full fashion show here.

"I'm a fashion designer. And even if this is my own country, I don't want to go back with such a big event. There's no point to doing a big show and a little less as a fashion designer. I'm testing the waters here before I drink the water."

It was not cheap, self-serving talk: This is someone who burst onto the scene in Paris, the seat of modern fashion, and was chosen to become a member of the prestigious Chambre Syndicale de la Haute Couture, which decides what is haute couture and who measures up to its definition of a qualified designer.

Farah played down her success, saying no big label wants her, perhaps because she is not good enough.

Born of mixed Indonesian and Chinese ancestry in Medan, Farah moved to Singapore when she was nine and then to Los Angeles and London, where she studied at the Central School of Fashion.

Her breakthrough came in January 2002 when she unfurled an Indonesian-accented haute couture collection in Paris.

She has since become known for skillfully mixing exotic ethnic motifs with cultured sensuality.

"Kimonos and all are being brought there (to the West), why not Indonesian elements? I have to study and research about Indonesia, bring it there, fight with the sharks. But I'm not afraid to fight," said Farah, who is married to a Swiss financial executive.

She uses batik from around the archipelago, ikat and exotic Balinese accessories. Her enduring favorite is a red Balinese goddess dress with flower petals, the design which introduced her to the world.

Her latest collection, which she showed here, was inspired by 19th century Acehnese heroine Cut Nyak Dien and the Acehnese conflict.

It is in black and green, with soft silk fabric, and metal and lace as detail. The neckline is masculine, with an accent on the shoulder resembling a military decoration.

"It's like feminine gets tough," she said.

Farah said her collection always contains a message, and is relevant to the current world situation.

During the 2003 G-8 Summit, for instance, when China came of political age by being invited to attend, the theme of the collection was China and red, while the invasion of Iraq was marked by a design inspired by American Indians.

For the Bali bombing, she emphasized green, beige and brown, and stone-wash and tie-dye.

Her clothes have a clean cut and excellent finishing, elegant and very sensuous with the silk material she always wear.

"Farah Angsana collection is about women who already know their identity, are strong and not afraid to express their sensuality," she said, adding that her customers were mostly in their 20s and 30s.

Aside from the Cut Nyak Dien collection, there were drapery- like dresses inspired by ancient Greek goddesses, floral dress ("Garden of Eden") and a beige/brown dress with paillette and beads to imitate sand and shells ("of Bali beach").

Prices of the collection range from 250 euros to 450 euros for daywear, 1,000 euros to 2,000 euros for a cocktail dress and 2,000 euros to 5,000 euros for elaborate evening dresses.

It was beyond her imagination that people here would like what she designs, she said, but 60 percent of her 380 pieces had already been sold with the trunk show still ongoing.

A percentage of the sales went to the humanitarian foundation owned by her friend, Kartika Soekarno, the youngest daughter of the country's first president.

Farah is very careful in her definition of friend.

"I used to think everyone was my friend and I hit the rock..for being so open, so blunt, so honest. Now, I can count on one hand who are my real friends," she said.

"I know some people but that doesn't mean that we're friends. I know a few fashion designers here but doesn't mean I'm close to them. Look around, are there any Indonesian designers here? Because we're not close, I don't have a chance of getting close to them," she said.

She refused much comment about local designers, except that there is "tremendous talent here" and mentioning a few names.

Farah is now restructuring her company and concentrating only on one line, Farah Angsana. She dropped her men's line and is doing couture only on private order, mostly from Saudi Arabian clients.

"I'm not a multitalented person who can handle everything. I want to focus on one label to go global," said Farah, whose main markets are Europe, Canada, the United States, Japan and Saudi Arabia.

The fashion business now is not like before, she added, so every five years designers have to rethink their business.

The global economic downturn has also impacted the fashion business, and she said she had lost some customers.

"But I'm very lucky that I still have other buyers, in Paris, Italy, Morocco, the Middle East and Japan. The order is smaller, but it is loyal," she said.

Does she still feel Indonesian or more part of a global society?

"I always feel Indonesian. I'm quite impressed by people here, I have no complaints. And you know what -- I love my life," she said with a smile.