Ersa Siregar's family comes to terms with his death
The Jakarta Post, Jakarta
The wife of slain journalist Sory Ersa Siregar had tried her best to prepare their three children, aged 16, 18 and 19, long before the news of his death came on Monday afternoon.
"If someday many people come around to this house, you will know that the time has come for your father to go," Tuty Komala Bintang recalled telling her children. The family's uncertainty lasted six months as Ersa, who worked for private television station RCTI, was abducted along with cameraman Ferry Santoro on June 29 by members of the Free Aceh Movement (GAM). Now Ferry's wife Maya and their only son continue to wait for any news about him.
"I tried to prepare myself for the worst, but as I have to face it now, it still hurts," Tuty added in tears late Monday at her home in Tangerang, Banten.
Ersa was found dead on Monday. The military said he was killed during a 20-minute crossfire between marines and GAM fighters in Alue Matang Aron village in Simpang Ulim district, East Aceh.
Tuty recalled the last time her husband made contact with her was on Oct. 8, asking her to take care of the children and encourage them to continue their studies "no matter what". It was the second conversation that she would make with Ersa after he and Ferry along with two Air Force officers' wives, were intercepted by GAM members in Peureulak area, East Aceh.
Troopers later found Ferry's identity card along with Ersa's at the location of Monday's firefight.
"I never felt that it would be the last time for me to hear his voice," Tuty said. "Not even when I read reports a few weeks afterwards that the military had bombarded the territory and that Ishak Daud (the East Aceh GAM leader) lost contact with his subordinates".
"I only heard that my husband was killed in a crossfire after my relatives and neighbors told me so," Tuty said, adding that she was disappointed with the Indonesian Military (TNI) for having promised her that it would bring her husband back alive.
Meanwhile, Ersa's eldest son Ridhwan Ermalamora, 19, said that he would not blame the military nor the rebels over the incident. Indeed, he said that "I can forgive GAM because anger will not bring my father back."
"I thank everyone who tried to seek solutions. Wasn't it true that journalists sent a letter to President Megawati (Soekarnoputri) urging her to consider the best way to achieve my father's release ... well, that's OK, but that letter could never bring my father back, could it?," the calm looking young man said, referring to the recent letter sent by the International Federation of Journalists (IFJ) to Megawati.
Ridhwan said that three days after Ersa was declared missing, Ersa contacted his family to tell them that he was OK. "My father asked me to take care of my brother and sister," Ridhwan said, referring to his siblings Syawaliddin Ade Syafitra, 18, and Melliani Fauziah, 16.
Psychiatrist Sarlito Wirawan Sarwono said a feeling somewhat similar to relief, "albeit a bitter one," given the end of waiting for months in anguish, usually followed the engulfing feeling of grief over the loss of a loved one in a tragic death.
Sarlito further explained that eventually it would depend on each individual's ability to accept the tragedy and overcome their feeling of grief.