Ersa Siregar's family comes to terms with his death

Ersa Siregar's family comes to terms with his death

The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

The wife of slain journalist Sory Ersa Siregar had tried her
best to prepare their three children, aged 16, 18 and 19, long
before the news of his death came on Monday afternoon.

"If someday many people come around to this house, you will
know that the time has come for your father to go," Tuty Komala
Bintang recalled telling her children. The family's uncertainty
lasted six months as Ersa, who worked for private television
station RCTI, was abducted along with cameraman Ferry Santoro on
June 29 by members of the Free Aceh Movement (GAM). Now Ferry's
wife Maya and their only son continue to wait for any news about
him.

"I tried to prepare myself for the worst, but as I have to
face it now, it still hurts," Tuty added in tears late Monday at
her home in Tangerang, Banten.

Ersa was found dead on Monday. The military said he was killed
during a 20-minute crossfire between marines and GAM fighters in
Alue Matang Aron village in Simpang Ulim district, East Aceh.

Tuty recalled the last time her husband made contact with her
was on Oct. 8, asking her to take care of the children and
encourage them to continue their studies "no matter what". It was
the second conversation that she would make with Ersa after he
and Ferry along with two Air Force officers' wives, were
intercepted by GAM members in Peureulak area, East Aceh.

Troopers later found Ferry's identity card along with Ersa's
at the location of Monday's firefight.

"I never felt that it would be the last time for me to hear
his voice," Tuty said. "Not even when I read reports a few weeks
afterwards that the military had bombarded the territory and that
Ishak Daud (the East Aceh GAM leader) lost contact with his
subordinates".

"I only heard that my husband was killed in a crossfire after
my relatives and neighbors told me so," Tuty said, adding that
she was disappointed with the Indonesian Military (TNI) for
having promised her that it would bring her husband back alive.

Meanwhile, Ersa's eldest son Ridhwan Ermalamora, 19, said that
he would not blame the military nor the rebels over the incident.
Indeed, he said that "I can forgive GAM because anger will not
bring my father back."

"I thank everyone who tried to seek solutions. Wasn't it true
that journalists sent a letter to President Megawati
(Soekarnoputri) urging her to consider the best way to achieve my
father's release ... well, that's OK, but that letter could never
bring my father back, could it?," the calm looking young man
said, referring to the recent letter sent by the International
Federation of Journalists (IFJ) to Megawati.

Ridhwan said that three days after Ersa was declared missing,
Ersa contacted his family to tell them that he was OK. "My father
asked me to take care of my brother and sister," Ridhwan said,
referring to his siblings Syawaliddin Ade Syafitra, 18, and
Melliani Fauziah, 16.

Psychiatrist Sarlito Wirawan Sarwono said a feeling somewhat
similar to relief, "albeit a bitter one," given the end of
waiting for months in anguish, usually followed the engulfing
feeling of grief over the loss of a loved one in a tragic death.

Sarlito further explained that eventually it would depend on
each individual's ability to accept the tragedy and overcome
their feeling of grief.