Eight Out of 10 Children Prefer Confiding in Friends Over Parents

Minister of Women’s Empowerment and Child Protection (PPPA) Arifatul Choiri Fauzi has highlighted the strained communication between children and parents after a survey in Central Java showed that eight out of every 10 children prefer to confide their problems in friends. The survey, which involved around 20,000 children, showed that only 20 per cent of respondents chose their parents as a place to share their troubles. Meanwhile, the other 80 per cent admitted they felt more comfortable telling their issues to friends. “Children need to be heard. We are seeing a great deal of evidence that our children now have no place to confide,” Arifah said during a National Children’s Day press conference in Jakarta on Tuesday. In the survey, children were asked whom they chose to talk to when facing problems. “In the survey, there was a question like this: ‘If you have a problem, who do you confide in?’” Arifah said. She stated that the survey results should serve as a moment of reflection for families. The low percentage of children choosing their parents indicates that a communication gap still exists within the home. “There is a big question in my heart, particularly. What is happening with their families, what is happening in their homes that they cannot confide or do not have the time or opportunity to confide in their parents, so they choose to confide in their friends,” she said. Arifah stressed that parents need to build closeness with their children through open and non-judgemental communication. Children, she said, need a space that makes them feel safe to share their daily experiences and the anxieties they are facing. This closeness cannot be built only when a child is facing a problem. Parents need to make time to listen to simple stories, recognise behavioural changes, and understand their children’s social circles.