Does Valentine's Day mean love or a business opportunity?

By Gedsiri Suhartono

JAKARTA (JP): Myths mixed with commercialization swirl around Valentine's Day. However, all elements share a common point of departure: namely how to best express feelings of affection to our nearest and dearest. Endorsing a special day prompts us to appreciate our loved ones. Scope for participation is wide open. Have you ever received a "From a secret admirer" card? Lovers day the world over is a chance for the shy devotee to communicate their unreciprocated infatuation.

Whether you embrace the day or neglect it, for those in business, Valentine's Day is another chance to tap the market and fill the company's coffer.

Restaurants and hotels with star ratings offer a variety of compellingly packaged romantic experiences. Take your pick from a "simple" candlelight and light live music dinner deal priced at Rp 90,000/person or satiate the senses with an elaborate overnight chocolates-champagne-roses package worth Rp 1,5 million. The suggestiveness of sweets, alcohol and flowers! These elements act as key signifiers for couples to express their affection for one another -- particularly on this day of giving and loving.

"I realize I shouldn't just wait for Valentine's Day to be more appreciative than usual. Selecting a nice card embossed with flowers is a gesture to describe how I feel about us. I guess Valentine's Day is an occasion when I feel comfortable enough to express some of that schmaltzy stuff," explains Riza, a 30-year-old executive, as he browses through a stack of "You're Special" cards for his loved one, Shinta.

Riza submits to the canny advertising and succumbs to convention, satisfied that Valentine's Day merchandise will express his needs. Talking about his Valentine's card, he remarks: "It's not too original, but enough to remind her that she's special. I'm not quite sure how it all started (the tradition of Valentine's Day), but I sure am glad there is a day to let us off the hook, (where we) get away with being all mushy."

The World Book cites differing opinions about the day's origin. Some trace a lineage from an ancient Roman festival called Lupercalia held to ensure protection from the wolves. Other experts connect the event with one or more saints of the early Christian church.

Still others link it with an old English belief that birds select their mates on Feb. 14. The Book concludes that the celebration originated as a combination of all three sources, adding that the seasonal timing of springtime is a traditional time for lovers.

As early as the 15th century then, bachelors and maidens sent romantic verses to each other and exchanged gifts. Later accounts record that commercial Valentine's Day did not start until the 1800s when English shops commenced carrying Valentine's Day decorated cards.

Improvisation pervaded the development and expansion of the festivity to other countries. Regional modifications to this day occur, although it would be extremely difficult to avoid the color pink, roses, chocolates, cupids or teddy bears.

To survive the increasingly harsh competition, players in the leisure business have to spin the creative wheel in ever changing combinations. This is particularly the case in Indonesia where the bite of the economic crisis has seriously depleted the spending power of many, including the important target group of the middle class. Most star-rated hotels have diminished expectations that Valentine Day's packages will deliver happy couples to their doors.

Innovative methods to attract customers don't seem to be in jeopardy. Mercure hotel on Jl. Hayam Wuruk in China Town, for example, offers a palm-reading session for couples in conjunction with their Valentine's Day dinner. Organizers assume that the day will be a good opportunity to assess each others compatibility.

"(It's) just for fun. Couples are, in general, curious about their future together. We figure it is a different method to attract customers," said Mirna A. Basalamah, of the Hayam Wuruk's Mercure.

More too often, love themes are limited to romantic love between heterosexual couples. Few, if any, proclaim hosting a Valentine's Day event for homosexual couples.

"It's too much to expect from this society," said Anita, not her real name. "Given the condition that we live in now, I am not confident that we would feel comfortable going public anyway," the bank executive said.

Bengkel Nightpark has opted for a more altruistic theme: "Love the World" is the name for their Feb. 13 event. Couples are encouraged to donate blood for needy recipients. Dandan Hamdani of Bengkel contends that the event -- held as part of Bengkel's continuing social community program -- intends to remind its visitors of the world's suffering.

"A commendable Valentine's Day would mean giving parts of yourself to others, for a greater good. This activity could be an intimate way to show love and concern for humanity," Dandan said.

While some people may scoff at the commercialization of the event, scorning its superficial nature, some individuals attach great significance to the event.

"I was crushed because my boyfriend didn't attempt to do anything special for Valentine's Day. He did not even utter a word relating to the celebration, which means a lot to me. I consider it vital, if not compulsory, that couples recognize its special meaning," said Ithca, a graphic designer who terminated her relationship a week after her boyfriend neglected to celebrate Valentine's Day last year.

Her early association of Valentine's Day was imagined to be the ultimate expression of love and courtship. Her older sister used to throw Valentine's Day parties and dances. Her peers and partners during her four years of being educated at the Rhode Island School of Design obviously did not fail to meet up the annual "obligation" to express their bliss of being in love with her.

Other sing, "Well is it love then, is it dictated or chosen?"

So much for love and affection.