Different ponds have different fish

Different ponds have different fish

JAKARTA (JP): Here are a couple of things you would expect anyone would do at the mall or on the street. But, remember, you are in Jakarta now.

When old friends bump into each other in the corridor of a packed shopping mall, for example, you'd expect them to step aside before they start exchanging greetings and asking questions about each other's health and wealth. Right?

Wrong. Jakartans stop and start gabbing right where they happened to be walking. Even in the middle of a walkway. You'd better not remind them that they're blocking the way of hundreds of other mall-goers. If you do, they consider you rude for disturbing their gab session. They haven't seen each other for a long time, remember, and thus nothing else is more important than themselves -- especially not you. Better find another way.

When a gaggle of shoppers reach the landing of an escalator and find themselves undecided whether to turn right or left, you'd expect them to quickly step aside before attempting to reach a consensus on where they want to go. Right?

Wrong again. Jakartans stop right at the end of escalators and start deliberating on the spot. If you happen to be right behind them and are having trouble stopping the automatic escalator, that's your problem, not theirs. If bash into their backs, it's your fault for not looking where you were going. Hey, this is a free country, so anybody can stop right where he or she decides to stop. The landings of running escalators seem to be a magnet.

At Jollibee, in a plush shopping mall, you see a couple of well-dressed young professionals washing their hands at the sinks. You'd expect them to turn the tap off when they're finished, because, judging from the way they dress and the handphones sticking out of their pockets, you can tell that they're very well educated and must know how dear water is. Right?

C'mon. Jakartans don't turn taps off -- except maybe at home. The terribly grueling task of turning the tap off is now considered part of the services all fast food restaurants must provide. Therefore janitors should do the twisting, not guests. Diners can just leave the water running if they choose.

You go into the ladies restrooms (excuse me, gentlemen, please don't attempt this). You go to the sink to wash your hands because you know the sinks are for washing your hands. Right?

Wrong. In horror, you see white-clad nannies conveniently placing their toddling charges in the sinks to let them relieve themselves. Don't panic. It happens in shopping mall restrooms here. After all, the sinks and the toilets look and smell the same.

Let us venture to cross the street now. You'd expect people to cross perpendicular to the roadside so the time spent on the street is as short as possible. You'd think anyone would be in a hurry to reach the relative safety of the sidewalk. Right?

No way. Jakartans are very efficient. They always take the shortest path to get to their final destination. Therefore, they cross the street diagonally, keeping as small an angle as possible with the roadside, to minimize the number of excruciating steps they must make to get from point A to point B.

Now jump in your car. You know cars have long been equipped with an extremely-easy-to-reach turn signal switch. Car makers around the world toiled to ensure that flicking on the turn signal required minimal effort so people wouldn't fail to signal when they wanted to turn or change lanes. Right?

Not quite. When you drive a car in Jakarta, you should actually be equipped with the ability to read minds, because people very rarely flick on their turn signal. What the car makers have labored to design and implement isn't good enough. They really should come up with a more sophisticated device (one that requires no effort to use) that will determine where the guy in front of you wants to go.

When an ambulance siren is wailing, or a convoy of fire engines blow their horns, you'd expect that all the drivers in front of them would get out of the way as quickly as possible. You'd expect the drivers to climb the sidewalks if necessary, or turn down a side street to let the emergency vehicles pass. Right?

Yeah right. In a traffic jam, a daily reality in Jakarta, ambulances and fire engines must wait their turn.

When a new traffic light has been installed or new traffic signs erected, you'd expect police officers to be on duty to help motorists get acquainted with the new traffic system. Right?

Maybe. If you don't see them you still know they're around and you know where you'd find them. Don't you?

There is no need to continue. We see it everyday. Just remember, as a local saying goes, "Lain padang lain belalang, lain lubuk lain ikannya." You would expect an immediate translation. Right?

Wrong. That would be too easy, look to the heading to find out what it means.

-- Zatni Arbi